My mom’s cousin Pam use to tell me over and over again…..”Love will find you when you least expect it.” I thought she was insane and quite frankly, after the fourth or fifth time she told me I would get a little irritated and annoyed with her. She always had ideas of guys to set me up with. Doctors she worked with, farmers she knew, friends of her step-sons. Nothing every panned out.
Pam died a year ago and shortly after her death I stumbled upon my Redneck Romeo. I look back on this last year and think dang…..she was right! SHE WAS RIGHT! I’m sure glad she was right. I miss her terribly and wish I could introduce her to M, but I know she sees me and is probably smiling down saying, “I told you so!”
We spent the last week on the beach and I thought about Pam and my mom a lot. Both of their birthdays are in July. Pam passed away a year ago. So many things that make me sad, make me smile when I think of happier times, but most of all make me always shed a tear. It’s been 10 years since I lost my mom but there is not a day that goes by that I don’t think, man I wish she was hear so I could show her this. Or, man I wish she was here so I could call her to tell her what a great guy M is. Or, man I wish she was here so I could call her to bitch about the mice in our house because we share the same fear. Or, man I just wish she was here so I could ask her if she is proud of me. I think worst of all I just wish she was here because she is missing out on so much. I’m a firm believer in God and I know she isn’t missing anything. But, she is missing this life with us…..me, her grandkids, her kids….
I hope that there comes a point in my life where I can stop wishing and just be ok with knowing she sees it all and knows it all. For now I will take in the beauty of a sunset and the glow of the sun on my skin and just remember that although I can’t see her….she’s definitely here.