Camping Chronicles – Duck Creek RV Resort

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Last week we broke from our normal trip to St. Joe, Michigan and we traveled to Muskegon, Michigan to stay at a campground. We’ve been in St. Joe for over 10 years and it was hard to break tradition, but I also wanted to experience something new and get some more use out of our camper.

Here’s a breakdown of our first week long camping adventure and the longest we’ve traveled. Papaw Brad and Andrew traveled with us for the week as well. Shout out to Mikey for preparing the camper and truck for a longer journey and always making sure we stay safe. I’m the perfect Passenger Princess and I sleep and read. If we didn’t have the small bladders in the back seat we probably could have made the 5 hour stretch with no stops.

We left Friday morning and drove north with a stop in Rochester for lunch. We arrived at the resort at 3 and starting setting up and began dripping in sweat. The boys found the bouncy pillow/trampoline and the Mallard Mart.

Day 2 we explored in Muskegon State Park. What’s interesting about the Michigan state parks we visited is that there was no charge to get in. We quickly noticed a great beach that we would return to for a beach day. Close parking lot, accessibility strip for ease with the wagon, and not crowded at all. We were unable to find any great fishing spots but also noticed the beautiful sand dunes within the park. We also checked out the Winter adventure park but noticed everything was extremely expensive and only the big boys would be able to do anything leaving Wyatt and Brooks out. We didn’t stay long. Maybe this is more of an attracting in the winter?

Day 3 we hit up our resorts water park. I was worried about a few bad reviews for Duck Creek but we really enjoyed camping here. There is SO MUCH for the kids to do. Easton, Andrew, and Wyatt were able to fish on their own and ride bikes safely. There are NO outside guests aloud and every pool/water entrance requires an adult and a passcode to get in. There are so many great water features at Duck Creek. They have an indoor and outdoor pool that are open from 10 am – 9 pm. They also have a waterpark open from 12 pm – 6 pm. The waterpark has a “lazy” river that’s more like a crazy river (not relaxing at all). They have two water slides and then a large water feature perfect for little ones with smaller slides as well. Later in the day we traveled to Grand Haven, Michigan to check out the town. We ate at Lucy’s (pretty good), walked around a bit, but unfortunately most shops were closed because it was a Sunday evening. We wanted to stay long enough for the Grand Haven Musical Fountain but Brooks kind of prevented that…..or my lack of patience for Brooks. Either way you want to look at it. The Musical Fountain doesn’t begin until 10:10 pm so that’s a long wait for a 4 year old who has been at the water park all day.

Day 4 we went to Michigan Adventures which is just across the street from the RV resort. It was a great little amusement park. There were decent rollercoasters and basic rides. It had an amazing waterpark but the day ended with a LOT of stress and money spent. We realized as the water park was closing that our bag of clothes and shoes and some towels was gone. We checked with lost and found and nothing had been turned in so we assumed someone stole it. I panicked at the thought of walking on the hottest pavement ever to the truck far away with no shoes so I went to the nearest shop to grab the most expensive name brand sandals they had to offer. $200 later everyone had shoes, we had no clean clothes, and only a few towels to share. I wanted to cry but resisted the best I could. Before we left I filed a lost/stolen report for our bag. We walked to the truck in silence in our swim suits and brand new sandals. Mike always has the best perspective reminding all of us to not let one bad thing ruin our great day. The boys shed some tears over their stolen shoes. Within an hour we got a call from the amusement park that someone had turned our bag in. Turns out the large family sitting behind us at the waterpark had accidentally grabbed it. The man apologized profusely and said they didn’t even look inside once he realized it wasn’t theirs. It was accidentally stolen and we’d spent $200 for no reason….but at least our things were back! We also had to drive back to Grand Haven because at some point throughout the day Mike realized he’d left his debit card at Lucy’s the night before. We returned to Lucy’s for the card, ate at Blue Porch per a friend’s rec and it was SO GOOD and then we hung around and watched the Musical Fountain which had a Ladies of the 80’s theme. Did I mention that the Saturday before was a Taylor Swift theme? I was the only one interested in going to that. Only female of the group problems…

Day 5 started with laundry at the resort. They have two excellent and clean laundry facilities making it very easy to keep up with clean clothes. Only $5 per load – but maybe that’s normal? Not sure! After I did some loads of laundry we left for Silver Lake, Michigan to take part in the Mac Wood’s Dune Rides. This is a MUST DO for anyone traveling that direction. The tour guide was hilarious and the ride was awesome. All the boys loved it. They mentioned the Sable Point Lighthouse at the end of our drive so we had to drive down to check that out. It cost money to go up but we figured, why not since we’re here. Going up wasn’t the issue. Once I was up I wanted to throw up only imagining Brooks tumbling down. Going down was absolutely awful. I had a full blown panic attack thinking of Brooks tumbling to his death with each step down. To walk down you must look down and all you can see are metal steps with gaps between each step. All I could imagine was the worst case scenario. We stopped to eat in a recommended place – Chicken Shack and YUMMY! These were some of the best wings I’d ever had! Definitely recommend if you are a wing connoisseur. We headed back to the resort for some pool time to end the day and even took Ginger to the small beach at the resort. She absolutely loved the water and we decided we really needed to get her to water more often. The perks of our resort were many but being able to hit the pool whenever we wanted was so nice to cool off in the heat. At this point in the week the camper was a bit of a disaster and being outside was kind of miserable without shade or a fan but we were having fun despite it all. This was the evening the wildfire smoke rolled in from Canada and the sky was so eery.

Day 6 we hit the beach at Lake Michigan via Muskegon State Park. I could sit on the beach all day. The waves, the sun, the relaxation. The beach and a book are my happy place. My boys are the same way and honestly after 6 hours at the beach none of them had even asked to leave but we realized dinner time was approaching so may need to head out.

Day 7 I was determined to spend our day outside and in the water. Unfortunately the Canadian wildfires made it less sunny and a bit cooler. Everyone was sleeping in until 9 or 10 am at his point because of our late nights and long days. The waterpark opened at noon so we were standing at the gate ready for it to open to grab a shade seat. I decided we were out of jelly for some PB&Js so we’d get some concession stand food and it was DELISH, but expensive. We all snacked on some food for lunch. Something that I realized as I laid by the pool was how much I missed my mom….and also Cheryl. It’s a strange feeling watching so many families have a grandma or grandparents to vacation with and just wishing we could do the same. Cheryl would have loved the trip and I would have really loved having a female to hang with. This was our last full day at the resort so the boys tried to do the duck boat (paddle boat) but due to the bad air quality the kid had left early who was working it and they weren’t able. They did do the putt putt and gem mining that the resort also had. Brooks and I had an excellent nap by the waterpark because there is nothing better than shade and water noises for the perfect nap.

Day 7 we headed home, sadly. We stopped in Baroda, Michigan to hit one of our favorite restaurants – The Public House. We visit here every year around Bryce’s birthday when we travel to St. Joe and I was sad we didn’t get to this year. Mike realized it wasn’t out of the way to stop for lunch so that made me a happy girl! Unfortunately they changed the menu a little and got rid of my favorite wine and pizza, but I did find some other delicious food to eat. We made it home by 5:30 and quickly changed over to pig showing for Linny’s Memorial Showdown.

Our campcation was amazing and the boys quickly deemed it as “Best Vacation and Camping Ever.” The freedoms of things to do safely at the resort made it really enjoyable for all of us. I’d definitely go back and highly recommend Duck Creek RV Resort to any of our friends. The only cons were that putt putt, gem mining, and arcade were all extra but honestly that was to be expected. There was also pickleball, basketball courts, dog park, and more to do for free! Be sure to check it out – https://duckcreekrvresort.com/index.html By the way – they do have some cabins available if you don’t have a camper!

I have a confession .

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I have a confession to make.

Brooks will be 4 in December and we still rock him to sleep.

Tonight I cried. This baby boy pushed all my buttons today but made me laugh even more. He’s silly and sweet and oh so ornery.

My lap isn’t growing but he is….and it hurts my heart. Rocking him and his wiggles that need to get out each night can be literally painful. Sometimes I lose my cool. “Just stop moving and close your eyes.”

But lately I’ve held him long after he’s asleep knowing soon enough he needs a big boy bed and I won’t be holding him, but instead I’ll be laying next to him.

And he’s the last one, you see.

The last baby to rock.

The last baby to hold as they fall asleep.

So far this has been the hardest part of motherhood for me. Sometimes I don’t even think about it because we’re so busy doing a million things. Maybe that’s God’s way of helping me out and not letting me drown in my sorrows of saying goodbye to the baby phase.

Maybe.

And when he wakes almost every night and needs me and I toss him in bed with us I just think – he’ll only need me for so long.

And I soak it in. Snuggle him in.

Friday 5️⃣

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5 things I’m extra thankful for this week.

1️⃣ VBS this week at Mohawk UMC for the boys

2️⃣ Slow morning and snuggles thanks to summer

3️⃣ Thistlewaite Falls trip – went to my favorite Amish store (Fountain Acres) then found this lovely waterfall for the boys and cousins to play in. With a perfect lunch stop at our favorite No.9 Grille in Cambridge City.

4️⃣ Some bonus time with Porky for one more show this weekend. Evening walks and baths.

5️⃣ Date day with Wyatt. He had a gift certificate for Kicasso so we painted shoes. Hit Walmart to spend a gift card (next level of hell, honestly), and a meal at his favorite Culver’s.

  • Seriously though – if you give my kids a gift card you have to take them to use it. I cannot anymore. I’d rather have raging hemorrhoids than ever take a child to make a choice with a gift card again. Too painful.

Camping Chronicles – Potato Creek State Park

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Last weekend we visited Potato Creek State Park in New Liberty, Indiana. Our goal is to visit every state park in Indiana. We have a ways to go but we’re getting there! We saved Potato Creek for the summer because it’s a 2 1/2 – 3 hour drive and that’s just not enjoyable on a Friday after a week of school. We also wanted to spend 3 nights there because of the distance so we could enjoy 2 full days.

Friday we took our time getting there and made a lunch stop and a Walmart stop for an electric scooter for two of the boys. We saw a horse and buggy hitched up at Walmart and were on our way to North Liberty.

After a quick set up and bikes unloaded and new scooters put together the boys were off to discover a new campground. Wyatt’s bike didn’t have the training wheels on yet and I suggested he just try it without. He’s done so well on his scooter with balance I wondered if he finally had the balance down to pedal. He took off after two assists with total ease. We had Campfire Queso for dinner and smore’s for dessert.

Saturday morning we had omelets and bacon for breakfast, took the dogs for a walk, and then off to hike Trail 3. The boys had been constantly nagging about hitting up the General Store. They always love to spend our money! The campground has a great little general store with all the basics and some fun things too – including a cooler of ice cream treats and candy as well. We located our state park magnet, but unfortunately it’s not like some of the others we have in Easton’s collection.

We came back to eat a snack and take a quick rest before loading back up to hit the beach. The water was nice and the boys enjoyed a couple hours of swimming and playing before dinner. Honestly, it was one of the better state park beaches I’ve seen! There was a path right near our camper from the campground to the beach but dragging Brooks back after swimming for a few hours sounded awful so we decided to drive.

For dinner we had the most delicious steaks from Maxwell Meats, some potatoes, and peppers with cream cheese.

Sunday we got up to hike another trail behind the Nature Center. Potato Creek’s Nature Center is near a great playground. They also have an amazing center. Two huge windows for viewing some of the critters below. An upstairs kid area for extra play. Pelts to feel and animals to see.

After the Nature Center we came back for some lunch. The boys decided to head out fishing and I decided reading and hanging with the dogs was better. Easton came back OVER THE MOON over the 17 inch large mouth bass that he caught! Wyatt was very proud of his little blue gill. Brooks came back to tell me he lost his pole in the water. Luckily we had Papaw Hazard who saved the day and was able to fish Brooks’ pole out with his own pole. Pure luck!

We stayed in sites 252 and 254 and I loved the location and 254 had an excellent amount of shade for the heat. I’d highly recommend this State Park and we will definitely be back!

Let Them

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Mel Robbin’s book “The Let Them Theory” was life changing for me and I have to tell you why.

I listened to the book and being read by the author made it especially meaningful. I could listen to Mel every day. In fact her socials and podcast are now on all my list so I can continue to apply the Let Them / Let Me theory to my life.

The theory isn’t just letting things that generally bother you go. Or letting others treat you however you want. It’s more about falling in love with yourself and taking back your own power and your own feelings.

From listening to this life changing book I learned that….

  • “Not every email warrants a response. Not every conversation needs your participation. Your silence cannot be misquoted.”
  • A lot of what has set me off in the past is t worth my time and energy.
  • I always get to choose how I respond.
  • There is space for multiple opinions to be true. Let them have their opinions and I’ll focus on how I’m going to respond.
  • People can only meet me as deeply as they’ve met themselves.
  • Stop chasing people who are not choosing you back.
  • “You must let their behavior be the clear message. Letting them. That’s easy. Let me. That’s hard. Let me see them for who they are. Let me accept the truth for their behavior. I’m not a priority. If they’re not making an effort. They’re not worth yours.”
  • “When you say let them you accept people as they are and their behavior as the truth as how they feel about me and when you say let me you choose how love shows up in your life and that’s where you have all the power.”

Let them

Let me

And something I can hear my Grandpa Snider standing proudly behind… “You get one wild and precious life. So go live it in a way that makes you proud.”

 

Spring Break in St. Louis

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By February I always wish we had something planned for Spring Break and we went back and forth on where to take a quick trip and thanks to my Facebook friends I decided on making a plan for a quick trip to St. Louis in between Mike’s travels for work. I am so glad that we did! It was an awesome trip with so much to do and we packed it all in for just a few days.

We left on a Wednesday and our boys were incredible car riders – just needed something to watch the whole way there. We didn’t even have to stop….for them…just for me. We found a delicious place downtown next to Ball Park Village called Salt and Smoke for lunch. I had a yummy brisket sandwich.

Then we headed to the Gateway Arch National Park to see The Arch. I’ve actually never been to St. Louis, but Mike had. I had heard it was difficult to get tickets for the tram to ride up the arch so I bought them ahead of time knowing it was the first thing we could do after arriving and eating lunch before checking in to our hotel. The ride up was worth it – but if you are claustrophobic or scared of heights – then I would NOT go up in the tram. Our boys loved being at the top but then also seeing the Mississippi River down at the bottom and realizing how high up that we truly were. We relaxed and walked around Riverfront Park to enjoy the beautiful weather.

Then we ventured to our hotel, Drury Inn Union Station to get checked in and settled in. We quickly learned that they offered free hot breakfast, free hot dinner, free popcorn and pop from 4-8 pm and 3 free drinks at the bar for adults from 5:30-7 each night as well. What?! I was impressed with the hotel and also in love with how old and vintage everything looked. Of course we had to start with a hotel swim because that’s all the boys could talk about – checking out the pool. On the way there I realized I forgot the Puddle Jumper for Brooks and goggles for the boys. Also, I forgot a sippy cup and we had already lost one pacifier for Brooks and I panicked that we’d lose the other and be really screwed. Texted my sister who reminded me of good ole Walmart delivery and ordered it all to be delivered as we arrived at the hotel. We really lucked out on that deal because instead of delivering us one Puddle Jumper they sent 4 and we only paid for one – so who needs a Puddle Jumper? I’ll make you a deal! After swimming and checking out the hotel dinner (meh) it was early to bed for a big day on Thursday.

Thursday we woke up to rain and storms so we decided we better do some indoor activities because the storms could be popping up all day. First, we started with the hotel breakfast which had biscuits and gravy, sausage, eggs, waffle bar, yogurt, fruit, cereals, and toasts. It was quite the spread and perfect to start our day. Downside – no coffee creamer but thank goodness for Starbucks and DoorDash because mama can’t start her day without coffee.

Then we walked over with umbrellas to Union Station and – WOW! Highly recommend hitting up Union Station when the weather is nice and you’re in St. Louis. We were really excited to come back and see/do those things when it wasn’t raining. We went inside to the St. Louis Aquarium which is attached to Union Station. The boys, especially Brooks, loved all the fish but I probably wouldn’t do it again. I couldn’t figure out why it wasn’t in the “top things to do with kids” website lists I had seen and then realized quickly why that was. Not much to the aquarium. If you’ve ever been to Newport Aquarium in Cincinnati then this most definitely doesn’t compare. I’d skip it if it were me! Then we took a ride on The Wheel which was nestled right between our hotel and Union Station.

We took off to find Fitz’s Rootbeer for lunch after a few recommendations. Easton and I are both big rootbeer fans and I loved seeing them bottle the rootbeer in a side room as we ate. They had tons of flavor options and the bottomless mug of rootbeer icy cold was incredible. The food was awesome too. After that we took off back to downtown St. Louis for City Museum. Of course it was top of our list and we’d heard so many great things about this place. We’d also heard that we should prepare to lose our kids and be okay with it. Someone else had recommended flashlights. I put the boys in neon shirts so they’d be easy to spot in a large crowd and that helped a lot. I also saw families witih walkie talkies and that seemed like a great idea for next time. Thank GOODNESS Brooks decided to take a nap because it was definitely not a place for toddlers – more of a place for kids aged 5-12. Amazing place with lots to discover and explore. We told the big boys to stick together and we kept an eye on them as best we could outside of the tunnels and caves they were climbing in. I’ve never seen anything like it and honestly it’s quite hard to explain. It use to be a shoe factory and I’d love to know more on the history of how it became what it is. Unfortunately we went on a day they were trying to set a Guinness World Record so it was extra crowded – another reason I was so glad Brooks was passed out in the stroller.

I’m sure that bigger kids could handle 5-6 hours at the City Museum but our boys were wore out after 3-4 hours so we headed back to the hotel to relax and have some popcorn before dinner. Friends recommended Mamas on The Hill and it was such incredible food I’d definitely go back. I had Pollo Piccata and Mike enjoyed the lobster ravioli. Amazing authentic Italian food. I’d love to visit The Hill area again during the day to walk around.

We started Friday morning with breakfast at the hotel and another DoorDash win from Starbucks. Our goal was to hit up the St. Louis Zoo first but as we left the hotel we realized it was really chilly and cloudy so we changed plans and headed to the Magic House which is their Children Museum. If we lived in St. Louis we would definitely have a membership here. It was very reasonably priced ($14 per kid) but so much to do and explore. I’m sure we didn’t do it all because we had intentions of also hitting the zoo up in the afternoon. This place was amazing for all ages, but especially Brooks. Easton and Wyatt both said this was their favorite place of the trip.

On this day we decided to skip lunch and eat some snacks at the zoo. We arrived to a beautiful entrance. It was in the 60’s that afternoon and not a lot of animals were out due to the chill in the area. The zoo is FREE which is amazing and you only pay $15-20 for parking right outside the entrance. The St. Louis Zoo is nestled inside Forest Park which is a 7 mile park, bigger than Central Park in New York. How cool would it be to walk through the park for an exercise and swing through the zoo each day? What a neat thing for St. Louis natives. We did go ahead and purchase an Adventure Pass because not everything is free at the Zoo. This allowed us to do the train, carousel, the 4D theater, and a few other areas. My favorite was definitely the butterfly pavilion.

On our way back to the hotel we stopped in at Sugarfire Smokehouse in downtown St. Louis for some amazing bbq. I had the twice smoked burnt ends sandwich and Mike enjoyed some St. Louis ribs. Then we had to swim at the hotel pool again because it was still all our kids talked about. Seriously – how is the hotel pool the best part of a vacation where you visit and see so many things? Kids….

After a swim we went over to Union Station for ice cream at the Fountain (yum!) and watched the fire and lights show in Union Station.

Our final morning was Saturday and we checked out of the hotel after packing up. Before hitting the road we hit up one more of St. Louis’ free attractions – the St. Louis Science Center. We watched a really cool show at their planetarium about stars and planets. We saw dinosaurs, played games, and enjoyed lots of hands on science activities. If you love science, this is definitely the place for you. This appealed more to the older boys but there was enough to keep Brooks entertained as well. Then, we hit the road and grabbed a quick lunch outside of St. Louis.

About halfway to home Mike stopped in Casey, Illinois because I had mentioned the “world’s largest” things. We drove through their quaint little town to see some of the world’s largest thing and I’m still wondering – why? Why did someone stop and think – hey let’s add all of the world’s largest things to our town for people to stop and see? Just so random – but neat!

We saw the world’s largest rocking chair, teeter totter, ruler, windchime, golf tee, and more!

And sweet Wyatt on our drive between Casey and Fortville said – “Are we back in America yet?”

I loved the time with my little family and all of us being together the most. Lookin forward to our camping trips this year and our next vacation in July!

Truly a Fortunate Gal

For a year…

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For a year I’ve wanted to sit down and “talk” about it. For a year I’ve had some terrible nightmares and deep sadness over what Brooks’ birth and arrival was like. I’ve felt immense guilt at having these feelings. A new baby? It should only be happiness and joy, right?

Today the doom and gloom of that in between holidays and New Year has me forcing myself to just sit down and do it. Maybe this will help my overall mental health. Maybe this will help me let go of the anxiety and the trauma I experienced.

Those closest to me know our story. The story of our last sweet babies arrival and the scariest hours of my life.

This story gets gory and detailed and if you can’t handle medical issues that involve blood and babies, then this blog post is not for you. FAIR WARNING.

Early in the pregnancy I knew something wasn’t perfectly normal. I had some of the same signs of placenta previa that I’d had with Easton. However, I was hopeful. I was hopeful the placenta previa wasn’t actually in existence. I knew that even if it were that it could also “go away” over time as the baby grew. I wasn’t wrong, the placenta previa was diagnosed. My hope lessened as the appointments went on and became more frequence and my OB was very concerned about possible bleeding and not making it to 40 weeks. I had one goal – make it to Christmas. I got close to Christmas and had a small bleed and decided to put myself on bed rest to try and make it to Christmas. I canceled our tickets for Polar Express. I didn’t want to be too far from the hospital. I booked a Santa to come to my dad’s house “just in case’ we didn’t make it to the other Santa we had tickets for so I could see my kids sit on Santa’s lap before Christmas. I gave up a ticket for a girl’s night to see Fortune Feimster because again, I just didn’t want to risk my chances of not making it to Christmas morning with my two big boys. I was trying to be very careful.

His due date was January 22nd, but the C Section was scheduled for December 28th. I was bound and determined to make it to that day. I was going to get through Christmas and then have this sweet boy. Christmas means the world to me. My mom always made it my special and I try so hard to do the same for my boys.

Christmas Eve (of 2021) came and went. We baked cookies for Santa.

We went to church. We read “Twas the Night Before Christmas” and then we set out the milk and cookies.

We took our matching family jammies pictures and they went to bed.

Santa went to bed and I was so relieved and relaxed that we were going to make it to Christmas at home together.

Then 2:07 am arrived and Brooks had other plans. I woke up thinking my water had broke. I knew the feeling from a previous pregnancy and I also knew that if it had broke I was in big trouble because of the placenta previa condition. I jumped out of bed and as soon as I stepped down I saw the blood and ran to the bathroom. I was hemorrhaging and there was blood everywhere. The bedroom and bathroom looked like a crime scene and I needed to get to the hospital very quickly. There was blood on the walls. It was so alarming.

My biggest concern wasn’t the hemorrhaging. My biggest concern was making sure my two little boys did not see all this blood. I knew if Easton saw it he would be very sick and Wyatt would be panicked.

In hindsight the last place I should have went was the toilet, but it was where I went as I hemorrhaged and I called Mike from my Apple Watch and thank goodness he heard it and answered. He was sleeping with Easton at the time and Wyatt had been in bed with me when I hemorrhaged. Our kids start every night in their own beds, but rarely do we all end up in those same spots come morning. Mike came in and his face went white. The amount of blood was disturbing. It was scary. I wasn’t sure if I was dying or if I had a bleed that had stopped. I told him to call 911 while I called my sister to get here to be with the boys. Not very many people are awake at 2 am so it took several phone calls to get ahold of Meg, who always stays up late to watch TV. On her way over she called my sister. By the time Mike was able to leave home my brother in law and Meg had arrived to both keep the boys calm and away from the bedroom and also start cleaning. We owe them BIG time for all they did on Christmas morning and those days to follow.

I realized after sitting on the toilet that I needed to move myself to the shower so the EMTs could gauge how much blood was lost. I also desperately wanted to shower because I was covered in blood. Mike was on the phone with the EMTs and Easton had woken up. Mike told him not to get out of bed and thank goodness he listened. Wyatt slept peacefully in my bed next to quite a mess until Meg or Brandon moved him later. He even slept as the EMTs came to take me out.

I remember sobbing and yelling at God. I just wanted to make it to Christmas Day and seeing my babies open their presents. I was so angry. Then I was feeling overwhelmingly guilty for not being joyful at my newest babies arrival. I was a mom torn and heartbroken at missing those core memories and big moments in life and not being present in the moment of the biggest moment of our newest babe’s life.

The EMT’s arrived and couldn’t bring the stretcher in through our house with our. narrow halls so I had to waddle my way through the kitchen to load up for the ambulance. I stopped in to kiss Easton and tell him I had to run to the doctor to check the baby. To this day the only thing he knows is that I got sick and Brooks needed to be born. He also assumes the mess that Unkie B and Meg were cleaning in the room was puke because as I said earlier – he cannot handle blood…..at all.

When I left poor Mike was so shook. He couldn’t leave with me because Meg wasn’t there yet. I was able to remain calm. The bleeding had stopped for now and I wasn’t panicked. Or, was I? I felt eerily calm almost in shock. I reminded him that the boys could not see the bedroom no matter what. That was my biggest concern. As the ambulance left Meg arrived and shortly (or before?) was my BIL, Brandon. Together they worked to get Mikey packed and on his way to the hospital. They cared for the boys and began clean up in the bedroom. The mattress was ruined. Blood was everywhere. Blankets and rugs covered. I never imagined it would have been like that. My doctor kept warning me but I just had clue that hemorrhaging would have looked anything like it did.

I arrived sometime around 3 am at the hospital, Community North. The entire ride to the hospital in the ambulance was quiet and the poor EMT kept telling me how many babies he had delivered and I kept telling him that it would be life threatening to deliver this baby because of my placenta previa. Poor guy was clueless. He didn’t seem to understand the depth of my condition and how impossible it would be for me to deliver this baby and things go well. He also had a very hard time getting an IV in my hand and after 4 attempts gave up. My hands were bruised for days.

Christmas Eve early morning was pretty quiet in the hospital. The midwife who was working explained that my bleeding had stopped but she’d be touching base with my doctor to suggest an emergency C Section as soon as possible. I was moved into a room of my own and found out I’d be having this sweet boy around 7:30 am pending no more bleeding.

Dr. Henderzahs came in after waking his own children for an early Christmas (I felt bad and had to ask if I’d disrupted his Christmas plans). He was an amazing doctor and genuinely cared for me. I was a nervous wreck to have a C Section, something I’d never experienced before. I was ready to meet our baby, but I was terrified about the road to get there. The room was freezing. Everyone seemed to be working an extremely fast pace. It made me feel like this emergency C Section was urgent and I was terrified that something wouldn’t go well.

For the record, I would take a vaginal delivery over a C Section anyday. The pain of that surgery, the scar, the itching a year later, none of it is pleasant. It’s a far more difficult recovery.

At 8:22 am we met our beautiful little boy, Brooks Alynn. Our Christmas miracle. The boy who scared us all early Christmas morning.

We spent the rest of the day snuggling and loving our new boy and watching his sugar levels very closely. We worked on breastfeeding and we adored him. We FaceTimed our big boys to see how Christmas had gone. I cried. I cried a lot. I missed Christmas with my big boys and I was devastated. I wanted to be able to enjoy this new life yet I was torn at being away from the lives of my other babies. Our people covered it all. They videoed the boys opening all the presents. (I’ve still been unable to watch it). They took pictures. They cleaned the house and organized everything. I was just heartbroken and I cried every time I realized what we were missing. I wanted to get us all home so we could all be together again.

At 3 am on December 26th the nurse woke us to let us know we were headed to the NICU with Brooks “just for a little bit” to get his sugar levels figured out. They had tried two rounds of glucose and his sugar was still too low. Again, I was hopeful. She said “just for a little bit” so surely we wouldn’t be there long. They’d monitor him and get his sugar up and then we’d be ready to head home.

By the afternoon an IV had to be inserted because his levels were dropping again. We were using donor milk because my milk had not come in. We snuggled and continued nursing that day.

On December 27th I continued to pump to get my milk to come in and nurse as often as possible. Each time we got a little more successful with nursing. He was just a preemie with “little white boy” syndrome they called it. I learned in the NICU that little white boys don’t try real hard so his behavior was typical, but I was still very frustrated!

The next few days were almost as traumatic as the delivery. I desperately wanted my baby to be healthy and at home because I had two other boys at home who desperately needed me as well. I realized after day one in the NICU that he wasn’t going to just be there “for a little bit” and I was heartbroken. I saw families going in and out where we scrubbed in. I met mom’s in the NICU family lounge that had been there for weeks and months. I somehow knew we probably weren’t going to be here that long, but what if we were? How were these women doing it? How were these families holding up?

The glucose levels went up and the bilirubin went up – slowly but surely. Eventually the IV came out and nursing got better. Unfortunately he had issues with spitting up so he’d eat so well and then we’d take two steps back. I spent my days in the NICU. Id’ arrive as early as I could get there and stay as late as I could and come home and cry myself to sleep feeling torn between my boys at home and my baby in the hospital. I was a wreck. Between the hormones post pregnancy and my heart in two places, it was just entirely too much. My SIL told me “you’ll look back on this and it will be such a tiny piece of time in the grand scheme of it all.” I would tell myself that over and over just to get through the days. Looking back, she was right. I knew she would be. It helped to think about that. The days just seem so long when your heart is in two places and you physically can only be in one.

One doctor would say we might go home the next day and another doctor would say we weren’t. It was back and forth for 9 days. Brooks had trouble gaining weight because nursing is such a huge exercise for a little guy so he was burning more calories than he was taking in. It was weird to come home for rest on New Year’s Eve and “celebrate” when I felt like there was nothing to celebrate. I felt like a horrible mother leaving my baby in the hospital and a horrible mother spending my days away from my big kids in the NICU with the baby. My heart had never been so torn and I could not figure out how to do it all and be mentally okay.

On January 3rd after fortifying and supplementing and weight gain issues we were finally able to bring Brooks Alynn home.

We surprised the boys when. they came home from school with their new brother.

For a year I’ve dwelled on this experience. I’ve shed tears. I’ve smiled. I’ve learned lessons.

For a year I’ve worried about every single decision I made during that time….and was it the right one?

For a year I’ve had some terrible nightmares where things don’t end in me living to tell about this.

For a year we’ve loved this little boy and brought him into our family so grateful for him blessing us with his grand appearance on Christmas Day in 2021.

Life presents challenges, sometimes so big you don’t think you can overcome them. Somehow, we always do.

Friday Five

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  1. New Office! – We finally (by we I really mean Mike) got our office remodeled. We went from a corner desk with limited workspace to a huge 12 ft U-shaped desk. I’m not ready to share pictures of this beautiful thing because I want to get it all decorated. It’s perfect for that space and so gorgeous.

2. Baby Ben – I finally got my hands on the squishy Baby Ben. His thighs are so delicious and watching Wyatt want to hold him and play with him was the most adorable thing ever.

3. Pledge of Allegiance – Wyatt got to lead the pledge this week for the first time ever. This might be the cutest thing you’ll see all week. How adorable?

4. Silly Boys – These two can always make me giggle. They literally wore these fake mustaches all evening and then I started calling them Mario and Luigi. It’s the little things.

5. Target and Dinner – Mike has been gone all week again. The second week in a row. Although I’d like to check myself into a local hotel and straight pass out for 24 hours straight I’m going to rock the Friday evening and hit up Target alone (awwww bliss) and then meet a friend for dinner. It truly is the little things that make a momma happy.

Friday 5️⃣

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Five delightful things to share with you from my week.

  1. Snowy Saturday Mornings – The Saturday morning snow was GORGEOUS. Also, the snuggles made it so peaceful and calm. Then the boys started to really wake up and that ended quickly because…..they’re boys. You know what I mean right?

2. Surprise! – It’s one of my life goals to take the boys (all 3 – Mike’s never been!) to Disney World. I’d rather wait until no one takes a nap anymore so that we can all enjoy our time a bit more than if we were to travel there now. Sometimes I consider the trip and Wyatt getting in for free but free isn’t really free if you’re miserable and cranky. So for now, we venture to Disney on Ice when we get the chance. I was super hesitant to go during a pandemic but the ticket situation sounded fairly safe for a large public event. Even in the days leading up to the event I started to wonder if we should use the ticket insurance and just cancel. I had major anxiety. I was pleasantly surprised to find MORE than 6 ft between us and others and event workers who enforced the mask mandate. The lady closest to me tried taking her mask off and within seconds she was told to put it back on. You could only have it off for a drink or a bite. Sounds ridiculous to some, I’m sure, but I’m all about science and I believe masks play a huge role in the prevention of this virus I’m totally over. We didn’t even tell the boys where we were going. We parked in the parking garage and they were still clueless. Telling them is a video I hope to save forever…..they were beyond ecstatic. They’re champs at wearing their masks. Side note: I wonder quite often – how can my little 2 year old wear a mask without complaining yet my Facebook feed at one time was literally every other person bitching about being forced to wear one. I say “at one time” because those people are long gone from my feed…..some unfollowed and several I decided to unfriend. Truth be told – they weren’t my friends in real life so why did I need to be their friends on social media? This was Wyatt’s 1st time at Disney on Ice and his eyes simply glowed the entire time. It’s disappointing to think about the smiles I missed because of the masks, but I know our health long term is more important. When Mickey disappeared he needed to know where and when he would be back. Every. Single. Time. We had such a good afternoon together. Just my little squad.

3. Inauguration Day – This past Wednesday our country swore in a new President and Vice President. For the first time in history a female was elected as Vice President. It’s not that my worth as a woman comes from seeing a female Vice President – it’s more so that seeing a woman in power inspires me. That doesn’t mean I agree with every one of her policies or her political stance, it means that the little girls of color in my classroom can see themselves doing big things that once they didn’t see. Not only that but a TEACHER in the White House. A teacher! This is huge for my profession and my passion. Unfortunately we were unable to watch the inauguration events live in my classroom for fear of what could happen due to so many threats by extremists and radicals. I was able, however, to watch it live while my students were at recess and I caught Garth Brooks singing Amazing Grace and part of President Biden’s address. He gave me chills you guys. I love Garth Brooks and if him singing at this inauguration means less people love him I’m hopeful he’ll do another tour and maybe I can get closer seats than the last two shows I’ve been to. But Amanda Gorman……that girl STOLE the show, in my opinion. The poem she read was incredible, inspirational, and just what our nation needed to hear. The President made me smile. After watching his address, I felt hope. I’m guessing based on my evening scroll through Facebook that many of my friends wouldn’t agree with me. That’s okay….that’s the best part about this country. We can respectfully disagree on a feeling of hope. I’m sure there are life events that give you hope that wouldn’t give me the same feeling. What I’ve decided not to tolerate anymore is including people in my life who represent any sort of hate or spew hateful thoughts. Just reading someone’s hateful thoughts and posts brings me to a very negative place which I can’t allow myself to go – for the sake of myself or my children. Quite frankly, it’s not something I want my children to be exposed to either. I’m ending this week feeling in a much better head space than the previous weeks. I am so thankful for that.

4. Getting Along – Siblings are not meant to get along. Did you know I lost my first tooth by biting my brother? Literally, biting him. I bit into his skin and my tooth stayed. I freaked out at the blood of my mouth while I’m sure laughed at me. Being years apart never helped us growing up. Now that we are older I’m very thankful for my siblings. Getting along in our younger years was always a challenge and now I see that in my own two boys. Wyatt wants to be just like Easton and Easton gets super annoyed with everything Wyatt wants to do. They fight. They wrestle. One of them likes to bite. The other likes to pinch and hit. They’re boys. For a brief moment this week they got along so well. It lasted an entire evening. Aren’t they precious when that happens?

5. Haircuts – What I love second best about haircut week is how fresh and clean the boys look. Total studs. What I love MOST about haircuts is the chance to catch up with one of my dearest friends (and cousin).

Have a fantastic weekend,

Friday Five

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  1. Date Night – We don’t get to go out on dates very often anymore. Two little kids, constantly being tired, pandemic, ya know – life. I’d like to be better about committing to date nights so I picked a date, got the sitter, and made it happen! Probably one of my top 3 favorite restaurants is FoxGardin. The food is phenomenal, it’s locally owned, and my childhood friend’s brother runs the kitchen and he is an amazing chef. I get the same thing every time because it’s just that good. Filet Mignon with a delicious topping (spicy creamy crab), mashed potatoes, asparagus, and a side sald. When I don’t get myself too full I’ll add on one of their delicious cookies too. It was nice to run some shopping errands and eat just the two of us. We were able to hold a conversation without being interrupted and I never knew until having kids how special that would be.

2. His plan, His timing – It’s a daily struggle for me to remember His plan and His timing and that I am NOT in control. It seems like I’m getting constant reminders. The positive is that I do feel like I’m getting better at being aware of the moments my brain wants to shut down and think negatively. I find myself getting so upset at the things beyond my control. This is definitely one of my biggest weaknesses.

3. Baby Zoom– Our family is so blessed to be adding another sweet baby boy to the cousin mix. Last time I counted that means 14 boys under the age of 11 in our extended family…..isn’t that crazy? 2 of those are arriving in the next month or so. In 11 years we have not had a baby girl. Insanity! Also, that means these boys are so lucky to have their own baseball team of buddies to grow up with. Unfortunately due to Covid we were unable to have a baby shower the way we had wished to celebrate one of the newest. This life is crazy right now but we made the best of it with a Zoom Baby shower. It was so fun to “see” everyone, the momma to be, play some games, and catch up. I miss everyone in my big family so much but I’m glad we can all stay connected in ways like this.

4. Music Box – This week we began the office remodel which meant taking the room that collects ALL the random crap and cleaning it out so we can paint. Upon gutting it Mike ran across this thing below. It’s made out of some sort of metal and it’s a sculpture of a man playing the piano. When you spin the back of it then it plays a song from “The Sting.” I’ve always remembered this sitting on top of our piano growing up and when I moved out I took it with me since I was the one who had played the piano and also took the piano with me. I never knew the story behind it. I found out from my dad that this was a gift he bought my mom in 1975 in Nashville, Indiana. In 1973 they saw the movie “The Sting” and he purchased this as a 1st Anniversary gift. Moral of the story – Take the time to ask your parents these things. There are so many things I never got the chance to talk to my mom about so anytime I can I force my dad to tell me stories.

5. Family Time – During the spring, summer, and fall it’s very rare for us to have family time every single weeknight. Actually, it’s impossible. Daddy’s job prevents him from being home that much in the evenings. We miss him and it makes things sometimes very difficult for me. The winter, though, is a totally different story. I love how much he’s been home. Sure, he drives me nuts. Don’t all husbands at some point? The gift of all this time together is so very nice. The boys love daddy being home and it makes life easier for this momma. I say that because he was home every single night this week, except for one. Next week’s a different story…..but we’ll cross that bridge when we get there.