How Bout Me?

We hear many times a day from this little one, “How bout me?”


When we brought his little brother home he seemed to adjust well.  He craved more attention from daddy, was a little meaner to mommy, and tried to throw us all in the looney bin by refusing to sleep.  Pretty typical older brother stuff.

Since then he’s finally mastered sleeping in his big boy bed.  He’s learned how to sleep in with the amazing Ok to Wake alarm clock.  He’s learned to use the potty.  To put it simply…..he’s growing up.

Faster than I would like.

It happens.

One thing that still remains….are the daily questions for affirmation…..”how about me?”

“Oh Wyatt you’re so cute and chubby”

Easton – “How bout me?”

“Wyatt you’re such a big boy sitting up and smiling.”

Easton – “How bout me?”

“Oh hi Baby Wyatt!”

Easton – “How bout me?”


You get it?

Sweet boy Easton Wayne.  I promise you’ll never be forgotten.  I know you won’t ever let anybody forget about you either.  It’s one of the million things I love about you.  You’re smart.  You’re kind.  You’re a stinker.  You make us laugh.  You’re wonderful at hugs and saying “I love you” a million times a day.  You’re the best cuddler and hand holder around.  You’re an amazing big brother.

No worries my man.  We love you too!


Dear Second Born

Dear Second Born,

You’ll soon understand the reality that life is not fair.


Your hand me downs, your relaxed parenting, and fewer restrictions.  I’m constantly thinking to myself as I raise you, “you poor thing.”  Your brother assumes you’re his toy and I struggle daily to keep you alive and away from his reach.  You barely get the luxury of something new because we already have it slightly used waiting for you.

Your big brother has the advantage of doing so many activities and being constantly active.  Swim lessons, zoo trips, museum trips, library trips.  By the time you’re his age will I be entirely too exhausted to watch your first trips too?  I took my good camera to every event he every took part in and you simply get the iPhone pictures.  Shame on me…

I read book after book about becoming a mother, raising strong sons, and breastfeeding.  You name it, I read it.  I read blog after blog about how to be the right mom.  I read about how to be the perfect mom.  Now, all I want to do is throat punch anyone who tells me that my tricks to get you to sleep are unsafe.  You’re alive.  I’m alive.  We’re both just trying to stay alive, aren’t we?  I read nothing about mothering before your arrival.  I mean, I know it all from the first go round, right?


With all that said there are a few things that are working in your favor.

I’m more relaxed.  Somehow with the added chaos in the house there still seems to be less stress.

It helps that you were and still are the most chill baby ever.  It helps that you were a nursing champ from day one.  Was it because this wasn’t my first rodeo?  Was it because you were just a little less lazy than your brother?  Or, was it because I knew whatever was going to happen….was going to happen.  It didn’t matter how many books I read.  It didn’t matter what anyone had told me.  I knew I could do it and I wasn’t nearly as worried about it as I was with your brother.

You know what else is in your favor?  I can’t remember shit.  No really.  I cannot remember anything about being a mother the first time around.  When do babies sit up?  When will you start crawling?  When will you get teeth?  And for the love of God, when will you sleep through the night?  No clue!  Sleep deprivation and a toddler who talks nonstop and insists on carrying tiny figurines with him everywhere he goes have caused me to straight up lose my damn mind.  But, it’s fine.  We’ll survive this too.  As they say, “this too shall pass.”

It also helps that I sometimes wonder……Could you be our last baby?  Possibly.  I mean you never know what life will bring.  Sometimes I struggle to put you down and not hold you and kiss your chubby slobbery cheeks for fear you’re my last.  Every diaper change and sleepless night I can’t help but soak up all your sweetness because it could be the last time you keep me up all night.  I’m exhausted right now because you want to eat every 2-3 hours and want to be right by my side all night.  I find myself complaining less each day because deep down I know that each day is just another day closer to you not needing me anymore.

So, I’ll end with this.

My sweet little second born….You give me hope each morning.  Hope that this world will be a better place because your daddy and I are doing our best to raise two fine young men.  I look at you a million times a day and you never cease to amaze me with all the happiness in the world.  To be wanted and needed as a mother is the greatest and most challenging reward all wrapped up in one.  I pray each and every day for so many things but most of all that you never feel “second” to me.

I am truly one fortunate momma.



Instapot = Baby Food Jackpot

I’ve loved my Instapot for many reasons and this morning I fell in love all over again.

Now, I’ve never been an “Insta Junkie.” I’ve used it occasionally and loved it each time but I’ve also been a bit skeptical on some of those one pot wonder meals I’ve heard of.

This morning I decided to make some baby food for Wyatt because I think he’s ready to start solids. With Easton I made baby food in the crockpot and it was easy. I sipped my coffee and thought….couldn’t I do about the same thing but FASTER with my Instapot?

Well, guess what folks?! I did! It was! And in about 2.5 hours I have 52+ little meals of green beans, sweet potato, and squash for little chubs to eat. This should be a great start on our solid foods adventure.

I put each peeled vegetable in the Instapot alone with a bit of water. With the sweet potatoes I added a bit of cinnamon.

I set the timer between 12-15 minutes based on some Pinterest posts I had found

After they were cooked I tossed them whole into the large blender my amazing husband got me for our anniversary. No worries, I also got flowers but the modern anniversary gift was an appliance and he knew I would use this a lot and I do!

I pressed purée and let it go to work!

Once done I got the cups I purchased on Amazon ready and began scooping and dumping and sealing. These cups are reusable, freezable, and dishwasher friendly.

And Ta-Da! 52 servings and 2.5 hours later I’m done!

Warning – the green beans and squash are a bit smelly! Hopefully this little man loves it all!

Only Love Today

This book.

There is no better way to wake each morning or end each night cuddled with my littles or my husbands arms wrapped around me.

Then I found this book. And as Easton would say, “oh my goodness.” It’s always exactly what I need to read. How does an author even do that? It’s filled with short chapters that seem to me like devotionals. There’s no scripture relation, but I feel God in each passage I read. There are no dates so when I skip a few days because of exhaustion, kids, a dead Kindle, or simply life….. it doesn’t even matter.

I highly encourage you to begin reading IF any of the following apply to you:

  • You’re stressed
  • You don’t feel enough
  • Anxiety sometimes gets the best of you
  • Mom guilt gets you on a daily basis
  • You could use a little reminder to breathe
  • The world is too much

All the above is my life. On a daily basis. This book (and lexapro) have helped me find a new balance since I became a mom of two and I feel like shit really hit the fan.

This book has helped me breathe and smile again. I love ending and beginning days by reading a passage.

Buy it.

Read it.

Thank me later.

Expectation vs. Reality

Sifting through Pinterest while nursing and being forced to watch the same awful Paw Patrol episode for the billionth time and I come upon this…

I try not to judge, but I couldn’t help myself.

So many things wrong with this.

$50 for a labor gown?

Girl, it’s going to be covered in fresh baby goo and blood and maybe poop. Why on earth would you spend $50?


Ummm. If it’s monogrammed you can’t resell. I’m always thinking about the resell factor. What Facebook marketplace junkie is going to want my monogrammed labor gown? No one.

Nude high heels?

This is not reality. NO ONE packs nude high heels in their hospital bag. And if you do, we can’t be friends.

Curled hair and beautiful makeup?

Right after birth this is not reality. She’s gonna sweat and curse those fake eyelashes and curls right off her body.

I realize it’s an ad to sell the gown but I sure hope whoever purchases this monogrammed labor gown knows they ain’t gonna be all dolled up and beautiful looking like this after giving birth.

This is reality…

Using a good Snapchat filter when the epidural kicks in and you feel real good

And then the pressure comes and the epidural wears off.

Scared out your mind for what’s to come….

But on top of the world with a heart full of joy when he arrives. Not giving a damn what you look like. Just wanting that skin to skin time ASAP.

2 Questions I’ll never ask a new mom.

Wyatt is 1 month old.  He’s absolutely precious and a tiny little clone of his brother.  I’m doing my best to keep him alive this summer while his brother smothers him with hugs and kisses and all that brotherly love.

In the last month in my latest venture as a mother of two I’ve discovered two questions I’ll never ask a new mother.

Mainly because they’ve really annoyed me.  Really pushed my buttons.

Question 1 – Is he a good baby?

I mean, how in the hell am I supposed to answer that?  I’m so use to answering everything honestly that I’ve caught myself literally biting my tongue on this one.

Should I answer……. NAH.  We’re actually looking into a return policy but we’ve been told we can’t return him and we’re stuck with this version.

I mean, seriously people?  He’s a NEWBORN.  He’s good for me, his momma, his milk source.  He’s good when he’s asleep.  He’s good when he has a clean diaper.  But he’s a baby!  Of course he has moments he’s not “good” because he’s crying or screaming and needs me and doesn’t like who’s holding him because they don’t have the goods.  They don’t smell like momma.  They don’t produce milk.  There are even moments he isn’t that good for me!  Since he can’t verbally convey to me what he wants it doesn’t make things kind of difficult.

Question 2 – How’s he sleeping?

Like a NEWBORN sleeps.  He’s up every 2-3 hours and he’s ready to eat.  He really only wants to sleep while being held and he hates sleeping flat on his back because it’s not remotely like the glamorous hotel I had made for him inside of me.  So then we resorted to the rock n play for that extra little bit of comfort and a tight swaddle so he can pretend he’s not out in this bright and loud (thanks big brother) scary ass world.

**And for you a holes who had newborns who slept through the night the hot minute you got home….don’t tell people.  Because when you do they want to key your car or slit your tires. 


It’s almost time.

Today we are 37 weeks along.

It hurts to sneeze.

It often hurts to even move.

Dilated to 1.

Swollen feet. Cankles, what?!

I feel like I spend 90% of my day either in the bathroom or thinking “I have to go to the bathroom.”

Sleep is totally overrated.

I must be tossing and turning and up so much that my loving husband would rather sleep with the cuddly 2 year old than me.

I actually feel prepped for a newborn because I’m currently up every hour to pee.

One thing that would be so helpful is a device to roll me over. Anyone?

Putting socks and shoes on is so much easier with Mike around.

And so many other joys of feeling 20 months pregnant. Anyone who’s done this before me totally gets what I’m saying.


Above all, my greatest concern isn’t for myself or the difficulties of pregnancy towards the end of the possible pain of labor.

My greatest concern is for my first baby.

How will he handle his new status as big brother?

It seems impossible that my heart will be able to handle the love for two boys. I know it is. Everyone tells me I’ll be just fine.

But I look at his long gorgeous eyelashes and his perfect little lips as he sleeps and I think….can this really be topped?

Maybe it’s not that it will ever be topped but just shared. I’d like to believe the outcome is that my heart will just double in size.

I hope that E loves his little brother like I love my brother and sister. He seems so genuinely concerned about his brother already. His most recent concern might be trivial – does brother have a penis? But he’s also been worried that brother is hurting me as he notices me wincing through some minor contractions.

I pray that he takes care of him just as my brother and sister have loved and taken care of me.

I know the greatest gift we can give him is a sibling. I just wish it wasn’t so hard on my hormonal heart.

12 weeks…


There’s no doubt he’s growing.  22 weeks on the left and 28 weeks  on the right.

It’s hard to believe we’re down to 12 weeks to meet this little guy.  Didn’t we just find out it was a boy?  Didn’t I just pee on that stick?

This pregnancy has been so very different with a tiny smidge of the same.  There’s no time for naps or rest with big brother E around.  Every kick, turn, and flip makes me slightly emotionally unstable because I’ve realized in 12 short weeks I’ll be figuring out a new life with two little ones in the house.   The maternity clothes aren’t cute like they were last time.

I cry almost every night I put Easton to bed as he flips and turns on my lap because it both hurts and I’m also sad that I may not get as much one on one time as I once had with him.  I stare at his crib with tears in my eyes wondering why we can’t just keep him caged up forever.  Do we really have to move him to a big boy bed?  Sure, the answer is no, but it just makes sense to do it now and give the baby the crib.

And this new baby boy – this poor thing gets nothing new.  Bless his little heart.  Hand me downs will be the name of the game.  Will he care?  Nah.  Do I care?  A little bit.  I’m also slightly excited to watch him grow in and out of the very same clothes my first babe wore.  Comparing pictures of the two of them that I suppose will look identical.  Or will they?

I have a million thoughts running through my head.  Like 20 browser tabs open at once.  All day.  Every day.  I’m fortunate that my loving husband “gets” that about me and lovingly obliges to my demanding requests.

The nursery is painted and ready to move furniture.  We’re moving it in just a couple of short weeks so we can use spring break to adjust to a big boy bed and finish up the nursery’s final touches.  Now that I’m a second time momma I realize how ridiculous that kind of is.  This baby isn’t even going to sleep in that room for at least 6 months.  I know this.  I also know I’ll feel a hell of a lot better if it’s all done and ready for his arrival.

We’re so close to being there.  Then we have to get out the totes of newborn and 0-3 month clothing that are packed away in the shed.  I’ll probably cry again as I wash and fold and put them away.

Will E be as excited to meet his little brother as I hope he will be?

Right now he’s named him Pizza.  Baby Pizza.  I sure hope he likes the name we decide on and stops calling him pizza at some point.

Will he love him?  Will he take care of him?  Or will he kick, punch, and beat the crap out of him?  Will they cry together all the time?  Will they give me a break and possibly nap at the same time?

So many questions… many unknowns.

This motherhood shit is a bit scary y’all.

It’s even more terrifying when you add one more to the mix. I do not feel emotionally prepared for this.


Recently I read a blog post that included over 30 hilarious toddler tantrum memes.  A few below…

I found myself nodding my head through the entire post as I read.

The 2’s are the real deal for tantrums.

If you want to tell me that 3 is worse – please stop yourself.  I’ve heard it before.

E has actual meltdowns where no one in the house has a clue why he’s crying.  Like Wednesday evening.  He was crying for pizza?  Who cries for pizza? Apparently he felt like daddy’s dinner looked like pizza and should have been pizza and why the hell haven’t I served him pizza yet?  Side note: it was actually just lasagna.

He ended up eating half a breadstick for dinner.  And of course waking up a dozen times in the night because he was HUNGRY!  Imagine that!

He cries because the dog won’t go in his room.

He cries because I won’t allow him on my phone.

He cries because I handed him the wrong yogurt.

He cries because I won’t rock and watch him sleep all night.

My patience is thin on a normal day, but I’ve found it to be incredibly thin now that I’m with child.  I’m giving in to more tantrums than I ever dreamed I would.  I’m giving in.  I’m giving up.  I’m probably slowly creating a monster.

A cute monster.

Soaking it Up

Lately there’s been a lot of this.


By “this” I mean our sweet little toddler has invaded our bed.

It’s not usually until the hours of 3-5 am but it’s happening.  A lot.

I can’t decide if he knows what’s about to happen or if he’s realized I’m so exhausted that I won’t fight it.  It’s easier to throw him in bed with us than fight him staying in his crib and getting him back to sleep.

Does he know that life’s about to really change?  Like….really change?

He’s going from only child status to big brother.  I won’t be able to give him my undivided attention 100% of the time.  I won’t be able to hold him on my lap 24 hours a day 7 days a week because I’ll be nursing a new little milk guzzler.  I won’t be able to do it all like I attempt to do right now.

Since his only child status changes sometime within the next 13 weeks I think I’ll cuddle him close.  I’ll enjoy the sleepless nights to the best of my ability.  I’ll embrace the kicks to the back and that constant chubby hand on my face.

I think I’ll just soak it all up.  I’ll soak up every single sleepless night in a comfy bed with my two favorite guys.

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