We all know that actions speak louder than words. And if you know me you know sometimes I just have TOO many words. I need to focus on my actions a bit more. I can say that I respect Mike and all that he does for me, but do I always show it? Honestly, probably not.
I found an article that talks about 25 ways to communicate respect to your spouse. Although he isn’t my spouse, I felt like I could focus on showing him respect considering we plan to spend forever together.
After a recent falling out that we had I felt called to really reflect on these 25 steps and what I need to work on.
Now you may start reading these (like I did) and just begin to chuckle. It almost comes off a bit anti-feminist. After some serious thought I chose to read them a little differently. To read them with an open heart. To read them with the anticipation and hope that we have a successful relationship and some day a successful marriage with a successful family. There are some that will always be easier than others. There are some I may not be good at….ever. But, ideally I would like for him to always know I respect every piece of his sweetness.
1. Choose Joy
We all choose our moods. In fact, for me, there are days (particularly one week a month) where I tend to be mega B. Those days are rarely ever his fault. Even if I feel like they are and I feel the need to blame someone then I need to focus on my own mood and improving it. Choosing joy.
2. Honor His Wishes
In general I don’t ask enough what his wishes are. When he surprises me with plans I should be excited, not perturbed because I didn’t make them. This section definitely needs some work.
3. Give Him Your Undivided Attention
When he walks in the door from a hard days work I really must drop what I’m doing to say hello, give a hug, and a kiss. It’s really not that hard.
4. Don’t Interrupt
His stories are some of the best. I need to be his best friend and a good listener. Even if I’m not interested in what equipment he worked on that day I still need to give my best and not interrupt.
5. Emphasize His Good Points
He has so many. I don’t always remind him of those. A simple text during the day telling him how cute his butt looks in those jeans he wore on our date. Or even a how hard of a worker he is to take care of me.
6. Pray for Him
I pray for myself. I pray for my cherubs. I pray for my grandma. I pray for my dad. I pray for my brother and sister. I pray for their littles. I pray for my colleagues. Do I ever take time to pray for him? Not enough… Typically I pray that he’ll put up with my butt for the rest of his life.
7. Don’t Nag
One I could really use some work on. Instead of him walking in the door to a reminder of what he didn’t clean up before he left for work I could probably wait and say something later. Or just not say anything at all. I’m a little OCD about the cleaning up around the house. Nagging just seems natural in that sense.
8. Be Thankful
I’ve dwelled on this a lot in the last few days. I’m not nearly thankful enough for this wonderful man God placed in my life. I have to say thank you more. I have to say thank you to God. I have to say thank you to his momma and pops for raising such an amazing man. Thank you isn’t said enough.
9. Smile at Him
He says he loves my smile. Why not show it to him more?
10. Respond Physically
I’m sure he’d appreciate this. What man wouldn’t? That book 50 Shades sure helped. Anyone else agree? He would like to know, as would I….is there a fourth one coming out? 🙂
11. Eyes Only for Him
He knows the love of I have for Eliot on SVU or Derek on Criminal Minds or Zac Brown and his beautiful beard. Do I really need to voice it? Probably a little less would help. 😉
12. Kiss Him Goodbye
This we do. We kiss goodbye. We kiss goodnight. We always kiss goodnight. It’s a deal we made way back in the beginning. Never go to bed angry.
13. Prepare His Favorite Foods
You can ask him to be sure….but the boy loves my cooking. I love cooking exactly what he loves on his special occasions and try and do it at least once a week. He always tells me there isn’t anything that I cook that he doesn’t love. I’m sure there’s a little fib to that because I’ve burnt a few things in my day, but at least he’s being nice!
14. Cherish Togetherness
Even though we are kidless we like to spend a lot of time with family and friends. On those very special times where it is just the two of us I could for sure put the cell phone up and focus just on him.
15. Don’t Complain
Really? Do you know me? I’m not a constant complainer but I definitely voice my opinion. This is where I felt the article started turning a little super religious or cultish. If I never tell him how I feel then things won’t get fixed. I think I could certainly complain less, but not complaining at all would make for a pretty bland relationship with little positive change. I just need to remember there is a time and a place for everything.
16. Resist the Urge to Correct
I’m a teacher. Do you get that? I correct all day long. I grade papers all night long. Sometimes he kindly reminds me that he’s not one of my students. God love him.
17. Dress to Please Him
I dress to please no one but myself…for the most part. I know what dresses he likes. I know what tops he thinks I look good in. So you can bet your sweet cheeks that when we have a date night I’m going to wear something that will only want him to look at me!
18. Keep the House Tidy
As said before, OCD helps with this. I like to do the laundry and make sure his work uniforms are ready to go and clean. We clean house together when we do a major cleaning though. He takes care of the bathrooms and me the rest of the house. When I cook, he does the dishes. Really I have a pretty sweet deal worked out.
19. Be Content
Working on it. I have sad days. I have days I miss my momma and it seems so unfair that I can’t share in whatever it is I’m doing with her. These are days I’m less content. I’ll work on it.
20. Take His Advice
He does have some pretty great advice. He’s almost always right. Lord, I hope his head doesn’t swell when he reads that! One thing I may not always go to him for advice in is clothing. He’s a tad bit color blind. Again, God love him. 🙂
21. Admire Him
I do absolutely adore and admire him. I admire the man he was when I met him and I admire the man he has become in the last two years that I have known him. He’s something to be proud of, that’s for sure.
22. Protect His Name
Well those of you that know his last name are probably already giggling. I’m old-fashioned and some day I will have his last name. No. Matter. What.
23. Forgive His Shortcomings
We all have shortcomings. My love has a few. Those shall remain nameless as I want to admire and protect him in each way I can. I could list all of my shortcomings for you but I’d probably have to write a novel. I’ll forgive his…and let’s just hope he forgives mine.
24. Don’t Argue
Well, we have our days. We are getting better at talking. I’m getting better at picking my battles. I will say this…we don’t scream and fight. We talk calmly and if we have to step away then we do. We come back when we’re calm. We cuddle when things have calmed down and hold each other. Then we tell each other everything will be alright.
25. Follow His Lead
I’m a natural born leader. I get it from my grandpa’s side of the family. Some say it’s stubborness. I like to call it being a leader. Call it what you will. I need to hand him the ropes and follow his lead. I will work on this.
What are some things you could do to respect your man a little more?
Loving my man,