All smiles and just a few tears

Today was a good day 

A really great day. 
Today would have been my moms 61st birthday. I woke up this morning (5:20 am….first time in 2 months) an absolute emotional train wreck. I sobbed my way through a shower and just gave myself a pep talk to suck it up and hold my head high. I’m sure the emotions had nothing to do with total exhaustion from the world’s longest day prior to. 
After work and visiting with my best friend I headed for my routine birthday visit at the cemetery. Usually I grab a cupcake but it was 5:30 and I was craving Olive Garden, not sweets. Shocking, I know. I pulled in and began to throw myself a huge pity party and sob. Why me? Why do I have to be pregnant without a mom to help guide me? Why will my little boy never meet his grandma? Why?

Then I stopped the car and got it. Immediately a heavenly conversation began and all that kept playing in my head was “I’ve already met him. I knew him before you even knew he existed. I’m keeping him safe for you now and always will.”  Something like that. 
That was all I needed to hear to feel better. Thanks mom!
As soon as I pulled out guess what flew in front of me? 
A cardinal. 
I laughed hysterically. I just love her signs. Perfect timing momma. 
Today was also my first day of my 10th year of teaching 5th grade. It was an amazing first day topped off with the most beautiful flowers from the sweetest hubs around. 
I have an incredible class of 23 cherubs and their unique and spunky personalities had me knowing their names within 30 minutes. It is a class overloaded with boys but I’m guessing that is God’s way of preparing me for what’s to come with my own little guy. 
I did learn that “J’s” are not shoes you can wear for gym class. They are way too “fresh.” Every year I learn how far from the cool scale I have deflated. 
It was so nice to get a special treat from a student with a gift card to Olive Garden so I didn’t have to cook tonight. Just perfect! 
Our classroom was ready to go and I’m ready for day 2. There was SO much we didn’t get to but it can wait for tomorrow. I can’t wait to learn more about all of them! 
I’m hoping my kids don’t notice the multiple restroom breaks I have to sneak away for. It’s hard to be quick and stealth like when you waddle. 
Today was also CW’s first day of 6th grade and his first day at his dream school. His momma sent me this pic and it made my day too. I can’t believe he’s at the beginning of the halfway point. I don’t even want to think about it!
AND today marks 23 weeks of growing for our little guy. 
This has been a fantastic pregnancy and I’ve loved every minute. I’ve gagged a few times but never thrown up. My nausea is slowly subsiding. I haven’t had any incredibly crazy cravings. Quite frankly the worst part has been the emotional roller coaster. I’m sure the fact that I’m becoming a “motherless mother”‘doesn’t help that. I’m doing the best I can. I try to let it all out without looking insane. 

He’s about the size of a…
His hands are still so little!
And the most frightening part is the time left. 17 weeks. 
I like to think of more as 3-4 months. We have nothing prepared for him so I’m starting to really stress out. His daddy’s to do list just keeps growing and work is not slowing down. Not sure how it will all get done!

We get to see him again next week and maybe a few photos. 
We saw him 3 weeks ago and found he was a he. 
Here’s proof!
He’s so perfect in every way. I just love every chance I get to feel him or see him. I’ve waited my whole life to be a mom and I feel so blessed to be pregnant. 
This shot looks like he was praying. 
Maybe for me to eat more double stuffed Oreos?
We’ve been getting so many wonderful gifts for him. 
This adorable plaid outfit so he can match his daddy all the time…
Thanks Jordan!
Bags upon bags of hand me downs from his buddy Walker. And in those bags some hand downs from his older cousins CW and Brody Boy that passed down to Walker as well! Hand me downs from his buddy Caleb, thanks Court! I love hand me downs. If I never have to purchase this little guy a new outfit for the first year, two, or more I will NOT be mad at all! 
Such a great day full of smiles with a few tears
Feeling very fortunate!

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