Momma’s are simply irreplaceable. There’s so much I wish I could tell her. Every week when we leave our doctors appointments I feel I have no one to call. I know many friends or my sister or aunt would hear from me but the real person I want to be able to call is my mom. Then I cry and whine alone thinking life just isn’t fair.
Yesterday marked 38 weeks of baking for Easton. This momma is ready for him to come any day now.
Yesterday was the last day of teaching for me. I had originally planned on working 2 days before my due date. Now I know that 38 weeks is long enough and I give mad props to any momma that can work longer than that. Just walking from my car to my classroom at the beginning and end of each day was exhausting. I knew on Monday when my doctor said it could be any day and possibly end of this week or weekend that I wanted to wrap things up ASAP. We had a few crazy days at work of insane schedules that I wanted to try and get my cherubs through and then I would feel better leaving them. Yesterday I stayed after 3 hours and finished every last little detail and walked out at 5 pm ready to leave it all behind and focus on me and E for the next few months. I know March 28th will be here before I know it and I will be back to work and my baby boy will be growing like a weed before my eyes.
I enjoyed getting sweet gifts from my little cherubs and a nice surprise from a coworker on my last day.
Right now I just want to live in the moment and enjoy it all.
This week has been overwhelmed with sadness for loved ones and ones I don’t even know losing momma’s to cancer, in childbirth, and crazy violence. My heart has just been broken for all of them. It causes this soon to be momma so much sadness and worry. I’ve been on prayer overload. I’ve been missing my own mom more than the usual….which is a LOT right now.
My loved ones who lost their own momma too soon this week are an amazing family. Their mom was one of a kind. She loved all and gave all of herself on a daily basis. She leaves behind one hell of a legacy to be proud of. I think that makes it even harder to lose her.
It’s always the void in your heart that causes the most pain. Some days that void is huge….holidays, birthdays, special moments. Then you get lucky and other days it’s barely there. Then you realize that void isn’t there and you feel bad. Like you’ve moved on without them. It’s like a constant pull on your heart. Back and forth.
I only wish to those who’ve lost their mom this week that they find comfort in the thought of Heaven. It gets me through every day. Knowing I will see her again. I think Easton is with her now waiting to meet all of us. He’s a lucky dude hanging with his Mamaw until it’s time to make his debut to us.
Heaven is what gets me through.