84 years of putting up with all of us. We are so fortunate to have a woman who could handle them (us) all. 

Fortunate as always…

This is what perfection on a summer day looks like. 

Last weekend my love finally got the piano moved from my dad’s house.  It was one of the happiest/saddest moments I’ve had in a while.  Seeing it in our home.

This piano was a part of my every day as a child for as a long as I can remember.  Before I learned to play I watched my mom give piano lessons to many friends and family.  Then she tried to teach me.  It didn’t take us long to realize it was probably a better idea for me to receive lessons from someone else to avoid tears and possible arguments.

Then we had an organ and the piano.  Mom practiced every Sunday morning on the organ, sometimes with her headphones, while the cinnamon rolls baked.  It was that sight and smell I can still remember. Walking out from the hallway to the kitchen and seeing her practicing for Sunday church service.  Smelling the cinnamon rolls in the oven.  Those are just moments I will never forget.

I spent many hours on this piano practicing for weekly lessons with Mrs. M or the annual recital that always brought my nerves to a full tail spin.  Many times my mom would sit and listen to me play.  She always told me it sounded wonderful and that she was proud of me.

Even on the days I was extremely frustrated with the piano and harder pieces I was trying to learn I kept trying for one reason…..to make my mom proud.

So back to my point.  The piano was finally delivered to the house two weekends ago and this week and last I’ve had a few chances to sit down and play and become familiar with it again.  First song I chose….”How Great Thou Art.”  My favorite hymn ever.  As I played I didn’t make it through the first page before tears fell.  They were both tears of sadness and tears of joy.  Joyful that I had this piece (rather large piece) of my life back in my life.  Sadness that I will never hear her say those words again, or hear her play the organ, or smell her cinnamon rolls on Sunday morning.

I’ve been playing all week.  Just like writing in this blog…it is very therapeutic.  I’m looking forward to mastering some of the old pieces I use to play with ease.

A couple of times in the last few days the littlest nephew has said, “I see your mom.”

The first time occurred late at night after our fireworks and 4th of July party.  We were in my living room getting the kids pajamas on before they left so they would be ready for bed.  He point to the mantle and says, “I see your mom.”  At first we just assumed there was a picture of mom on the mantle somewhere.  However….there isn’t.  Not anywhere near where he pointed is there a picture of her.  We refer to mom as “Mamaw Debbie” to the littles even though they never met her.  They still need to know who she is.

It was so random.  So wonderful.  So much needed.

A day spent with family and friends celebrating the holiday weekend.  A time where she loved to gather with loved ones.  Sit around, laugh, eat, be merry.  Years and years ago everyone gathered at her house for 4th of July.

If she were going to take a break from Heaven and join us I suppose it is only fitting she would be watching down on all of us when we were together having a great time.

The other time he said this was just one of those moments where it needed to be heard. A time where calm and reassurance was perfection in its timing.

We all know she’s here with us.  Some days and moments more than others.

We all just wish we could see her.

I believe that the littles have the capability to see her.  I just wish I could stop and see things through his eyes.  So I could see her one more time.  Maybe even talk to her.  Or give her a hug.  Just one last time.

What I would give to look through his eyes.

Missing her,

Cake, cookies, and old photos

Doesn’t my guy look good with a baby??

Cutting the cake.  Aren’t they adorable?

Photos with all the family!

They haven’t changed one bit….!

Look at my guy (blonde baby)!  We are going to make some blonde babies for sure some day!

40 years ago!

Fortunate and Blessed with “in laws” who rock,

Relay for Life is an important part of my life.  It feels like it is part of who I am.

Our Relay for Life was back in May and was a huge success.  We hit our goals on multiple levels….teams, fundraising, participation.  It was overall a huge SUCCESS and as I paused to take it all in an appreciate it on Saturday morning I was in awe.

We were all there at the middle school track for one purpose….to celebrate, remember, and fight back.

We celebrated the survivors in our lives who are still with us.  Some still fighting.  My uncle, my great aunt, my friend, a former student, a family friend, a little boy I’ve heard so much about.  All these people surviving this battle we call cancer and doing their best to kick butt.  They took a lap with their caregivers behind them.  How meaningful is that?  Those who have cared and supported them throughout this awful journey continued to “have their back” as they journeyed around the track for Relay.

We remember.  The luminaria ceremony gets me everytime.  I listened to two young ladies in our community.  Two different perspectives on cancer.  One young lady who has watched her grandfather battle and how it has slowly made their family something different.  Something we all know they will conquer and take on head strong….but something different.  A grandpa who use to mow the yard but currently struggles daily to get those things done due to pain.  A grandpa who use to be at every track meet and baseball and softball games but just can’t do it anymore.  I cried with those children as she spoke.  The pain in their eyes and their words was certainly difficult to bear.  But their story needed to be heard.  The other young lady who is a survivor herself.  Losing her hair and worrying about being made fun of at school.  Feeling sick and missing school.  Longing to just be a normal kid but worrying about doing her best to battle cancer.  Two very different stories both ones we need to remember in our battle to fight back.

We fight back.  I watched many make commitments to better themselves or help others in the fight against cancer.  Some vowed to wear sunscreen.  Others vowed to quit smoking.  Some vowed to help their dad quit smoking.  All of us thinking ahead of what we could do to prevent the words “you have cancer” being spoken again.

I believe our Relay was amazing this year because of our teams.  Our teams who built themselves up to be more than amazing.  We had teams who were first timers but appeared as if they had been doing it for years!  Team building is important to a successful Relay because the teams and their members make up WHO the Relay actually is.  We want our Relay to continue to grow….but more importantly we want those teams to come back and be a part of our Relay again.  Each and every individual and participant was important to our success of meeting so many goals.  We could not have done it without each and every one of them.

Our amazing team captains!

One of my favorite teams would have to be my own.  Duh!  Shut it Down… My family team.  Sure, there are some team members who aren’t blood related.  However, I treat them all as family and would think of them as nothing less.  We seem to kick ass together.  We’ve been Relaying for many years so I am sure that our experience helps a bit.  We came together this year and dominated as Top Fundraising Team again gaining over $9.000 for Relay.  Our team took the Duck Dynasty approach and role as Cancer Commanders.  I loved the camo and duck blind and ducks we used to decorate our campsite.  Every year my family continues to amaze me with their ideas to raise money and their ideas for decorations and themes.  We have some pretty creative people and I’m certainly proud to be related to them!

My amazing family and team

Cousins…and Cancer Commander!

Willie and Jase (Ryan and Zac)

All of this is important to me for many reasons.  For years I’ve Relayed because I lost a wonderful uncle to cancer and I want to remember him.  I want to remember him for my cousins and my aunt who I know miss him daily.  Since we lost Uncle Wayne I’ve been forced to think of others during Relay time…unfortunately.  Most recently I’ve added to my list my guy’s sister-in-law and a student at school.  The list of names continue to get longer on our shirts.  Those who we Relay for.  It’s very sad really.  I wish that list would just stop.  I wish there were no one for me to Relay for but just to do it just because.  Almost on a daily basis there are things that remind me of Uncle Wayne.  Those reminders keep me going on my fight to end cancer.

Have you joined the fight to end cancer?  Don’t you want to live in a world where no one else has to hear “you have cancer” EVER AGAIN?!?!

If you haven’t then I have a wonderful opportunity for you…..you or someone you know should come out to Greenfield Central High School this Friday, June 14th from 5:30-9:30 p.m. and participate in the CPS-3 Study….Cancer Prevention Study.  Go here to find out more about enrollment and eligibility…  http://www.cancer.org/research/researchtopreventcancer/participate-cancer-prevention-3

See you Friday…