I’ve had an amazing two weeks away from work.  When we started school August 1st I never imagined it would be so wonderful to have these two weeksoff  but now I don’t know what I would do without them.  They came just in time and I’m refreshed and ready to go for tomorrow.  Plus, this round we have a day or two off for Thanksgiving and then Christmas will be here before we know it! Ahhh!  Sorry, I had to bring it up.

I didn’t travel out of the state, but I sure made the best of the two weeks we had with family and friends close to home.  I relaxed a little, played with the littles, and spent quite a bit of time in the doctor’s office but now I know what’s causing the pain and can take the next step in the healing process.

So, here’s a look back at some of my fall break through photos…

Started the break off with a little home town parade. These two cuties enjoyed watching all the trucks and cars.

Of course we had to watch the hometown parade because this sweet girl was in it! She rocked the pom pom’s and loved hearing her name yelled from the crowd.

Got my new ink. Still loving it.

Watching corn being shelled around my pop’s place and practically everywhere over the last two weeks. Sad to have our personal privacy fences removed but love the sounds and smells of harvest.

Went shopping with this wild child.  She knows how to have a good time with us girls!

Me and her beautiful momma (and my best friend) toasting to a wonderful couple of days in a beautiful town. Don’t worry, we had a designated driver and it wasn’t the baby.

Love their beauty.  Love their smiles.

Our shopping wore poor little thing out. She was such a good shopper though!

I got lots of texts from my pops as he enjoyed some time with my sister and b-in-law down in Mickey’s Land. It was cute to see them having such a good time and I know my dad was loving every minute.

Got to watch this little get wild and muddy with his 4 wheel toys. He is all his dad. The boys like their toys and they love to get dirty. Still a cutie.

Shopping for home goods. Over it, but can’t be over it.  Still have lots of decisions to be made. I have tons of pictures such as the one above on my phone to compare prices and looks. Again, did I tell you I was over it?  Cuz I am.

Loved when these littles came home from their vacation. Missed them. They give the best hugs and kisses.

Then it was back to shopping for the house. Still can’t find the comforter I want. I’ve been trying to find the materials I want to use (curtains, towels, bedding, etc.) and then the paint to match them. No luck so far with the bedroom. Everything else (besides one bathroom) is determined.

Went apple picking with this cutie. Fun to watch her enjoy these kinds of activities.

She said, “this is a weird looking pumpkin!” So cute.

Love them all.  Fun to see them make memories. Always glad they let me be a part of it.

The girl cracks me up.

Then picking pumpkins.

Gorgeous babies.

So cute.

A day at the Children’s Museum!

And lastly a slumber party with the other little after he returned from his vacation. Shiloh anxiously awaited him waking up. Problem is I caught him at 4 am still watching Netflix. Oh well, it’s vacation for him too….right?

Sad to see these two weeks go.  Part of me is kind of ready to see all my cherubs at school and hopefully they missed me a little too!

Resting until the alarm goes off,

Yesterday I had an MRI.  I’m typically not scared of anything medical.  I can get my blood drawn with the best of them.  I use to give plasma twice a week in college for some spare change.

I started to have a slight panic attack the yesterday morning when I realized that I had never had an MRI, I was going alone, and I had no idea what it entailed.  All I knew was that they kept asking if I had metal in my body and all sorts of other weird questions.  Naturally I freaked myself out even more by researching on the grant ole internet for what an MRI was like.  Bad idea.  Very bad idea.

One site told me it could be up to 2 hours.  Another told me they could inject me with liquid that would cause nausea, diarrhea, and all those other lovely side effects.

So I travel to see my sister and littles (who left me for a week to head to Florida to see the cute mice and princesses) and ask my sister what she knows.  She tells me what she knows.  Calms me a bit.  And a I head out the door to the dreaded office to get this crap over with.

Lucky for me the ladies in the office were super sweet and somewhat soothing.  She offered me a washcloth to cover my eyes.  Asked me if I was claustrophobic.  To which I replied, “No.”  From now on I will change my answer to, “Yes.”  I may not be claustrophobic in an elevator but I most certainly am in that machine.

This is the visual I had below the washcloth….

Seeing palm trees would make most people relax.

I tried.  I really did.

But as soon as those extremely LOUD noises started I was done for.  I felt like there was no air to breath.  Full fledged panic attack, but without the outburst.  I had a 20 minute panic attack in that thing and I’m not ashamed to admit it.  It was a quiet one.  I felt like I handled myself really well.  I found myself gasping for air as best I could without moving.  I knew if I moved I would have to start the whole process over and I just wanted to be done.

So I finished.  They slid me out and I practically jumped off that table to get out.  I think I did a pretty good job of covering up how absolutely freaked out I was.

Hopefully I never have to do that again.

And just so ya know, I’m just trying to figure out why I’m having this awful lower back/hip pain.  It’s been going on for about a month and working out just makes it feel worse.  I was wanting to do two races this fall/winter and actually RUN them but as soon as I started wogging to get training the pain just got increasingly worse.  I think it all stems from an accident many years ago and probably poor use of my back in general.

Hopefully the news will be good and some simple physical therapy will be all I need to get back on the road of becoming a certified professional wogger.

Relieved to be out of that machine,

Today I marked something off my “to do” list that has been there for over a year.

I finally got the tattoo I wanted.

Back when I was a kid we found these “Grandpa’s Memories” and “Grandma’s Memories” books in a little country store up in Michigan.  I bought one for each set of grandparents and asked them to fill them out.  The pages had all kinds of things from explaining their childhood, to when they first met each other, and also advice they wanted to give.

I will forever cherish those books.  They contain some of the best advice from the wisest men and women I know.

One of my favorite pages said this:

His words mean so much to me, especially now that he’s gone.  There will never be a man quite like my grandpa and I’m so glad that I have the memories that I do.

So in his memory I wanted to keep those words forever with me.  Above is his handwriting of my favorite saying he ever said and wrote, “Don’t forget where you came from.”

No matter the challenges or obstacles I face I will not forget where I came from.  Who my ancestors are.  Who my family is.  Who has my back no matter what.  Who loves me for me.  The place that keeps me grounded.  The place I call home.  The people I call home.  Where I came from is always and forever a part of me.

My loved ones who may not be physically here are always a part of me.

 They are part of where I came from.

Missing him every day,

I realize it’s very unhealthy to be angry or keep those feelings bottled up.  These are feelings I’ve had since the middle of November in 2001.  They’ve come and gone. These feelings have surfaced recently ten fold as I dwell with a friend on what’s it like to lose your mother. 

I tend to completely lose it when I see a mother and daughter shopping and the daughter is being a complete brat.  In fact there have been two times (really bad days) that I’ve actually addressed the situation which was none of my business.  The situation was this.  The teen daughter wanted some super expensive jeans.  Her mother said no.  She went on to trash talk to her mother in an attempt to get her way.  I couldn’t help myself.  I told her she should be glad her mother’s still around through teary eyes.  She probably gained nothing from that.  I did.  I’ll be real honest and tell you I didn’t say it that simply, or that nicely.  I’m sure you can imagine exactly how it went down.  That’s the clean version. 

Over time though, I’ve realized one thing through all the anger.  Not all mom’s were as awesome as mine were.  I was a lucky one.  I was fortunate to have someone so amazing and so dedicated to raising three children and loving a husband. 

It angers me to watch a friend go through all the terror of what’s to come in a life without your best friend, your mom.  It angers me to watch her hurt and be a part of this club no one wants to be a part of. 

It angers me so much that I become this hormonal crazy woman.  I try and remain calm but really all I want to do is scream.  And cry.  And then scream and cry some more.

I’m thankful I had the wonderful mother I had for 17 years.  I’m angry that someone I admire and really care about is about to be in the same boat.  Life’s not fair.

Just not fair.

Teary eyed in typing,

I will preface this post by letting you all know that my guy is well aware that I am writing a post about ovaries.  I gave him a full warning.  Fact is…he hears it on a daily basis so he is well aware of what I’m about to share. 

Truth.

My ovaries are molding. 

At least that’s what I believe.

Another truth.

They are aching something fierce lately. 

Reasons below. 

Exhibit A:

meet Miss Mallory

Don’t you love her cute little piggies?



See her little punkin cheeks and precious baby hands? 

 Exhibit B:

meet Miss Vivian (Vivi for short)

She is the tiniest baby I’ve ever held. Don’t let her fool you though she can produce a real big mess, real quick.

Those are the two reasons my ovaries are molding and now even aching.  I know something as sweet as above will come in good time.  And the right time.  But my ovaries just aren’t listening. 

Until then I’m very excited to spend as much time as I can with these two precious angels.  Their mommas are so very lucky to have them. 

Achey and Moldy,