6 Months

This 6 month old chunky boy is a bubble blowin machine. He loves slobbery kisses, long snuggles in bed with momma, the outdoors, sitting up by himself, and horsey rides on daddy’s knee. He can bounce and jump a good bowel movement right out of himself and has been known to poop up to his armpits with great skill. He’s mastered “Da Da” which makes daddy beam with pride and he’s attempting to kick dad out of bed with each passing night.
We seriously look at each other and back at him ALL the time and can’t get over how dang cute he is. How happy he is!
Photos creds to our talented cousin, Codi Milner

He brings us so much joy each and every day.

He’s constantly talking.
His little body never stops moving.
He’s rolling everywhere and loves sitting up by himself.
He rolls over in his bassinet and during nap times with Miss Jenny.
We had to raise his activity jumper because he just won’t stop growing!

Right after he turned 5 months he started saying “da da da da da” after daddy had a work trip to iowa.
He loves his daddy’s horsey rides on the knee and often times if you put him on your lap or knee he will flail himself around until you start bouncing him.

He enjoys making a slobbery mess of everything by blowing raspberries and bubbles and can do so on command.  He’s basically like a pet monkey. Ha!

Of course like all things in life with all the wonder positives there has to be some things to keep us praying….like lack of sleep.  Easton turned 5 months and decided to start waking every 2-3 hours to eat again.  I think it’s a teething issue.  Lord, I hope it’s a teething issue.  His bottom teeth are so dang close to cutting through and still haven’t.  We’re going on 3 or so (lost count) weeks of lack of solid sleep for momma.  I’m starting to feel delirious and delusional but thankfully summer is here in a week and we can all figure life out again, I’m sure.  Once summer hits we plan to make the crib transition.  Quite honestly if it were my choice I’d have him sleep next to me until he was ready to graduate high school but apparently that gets a little creepy.  Daddy is ready for him to be in his own room.  Something about alone time or having half the bed again.  Ridiculous, don’t you think?

Despite his waking in the night he remains to be the happiest kid on the planet.  He even survived an entire church service in Papaw and Mamaw’s laps today barely making a peep.

I thought he was sound asleep the other night.
Low and behold he was actually right next to me watching Law and Order SVU over this bassinet ledge.  

E continues to adore his big cousins, but especially Brody.  Brody can make him laugh on command and Easton basically idolizes him.  We are very excited that Easton will get his chance at the big cousin gig in late October thanks to his Unkie Josh and Aunt Holly!

We head to the doctor this week for his official weight but at home he’s weighing in on this scale he barely fits on around 19 pounds and 10 ounces.  We’ll see what they say on Wednesday.  He definitely is getting heavier and that car seat with him in it is nearly impossible to carry anymore!

Easton and cousin Jack are just about 3 months apart but Easton’s gaining on him for now! 

Many have told me recently he looks like my grandpa Snider so of course I did a side by side.
Definitely some resemblance!  

Sometimes he does sleep like an angel. 
We love getting these sweet grins from his sitter during the day.  

That tongue is always out!
Had our first spit up in momma’s mouth incident.
I was going in for a kiss and now I’m a bit more cautious about that!

He’s a super good boy in the morning waiting for me to get ready.

My first Mother’s Day present from E.
Special thanks to Miss Jenny for the perfect creation!

We grocery shop like this when the list is really long.
He likes it but it’s a little awkward when he calls everyone he sees “da da”

His first package from Uncle Dave and Aunt Weezy.
Too bad they still don’t know his name!

We love our visits with Great Grandma. 

Daddy got his new swing hung up and he gets very sleepy when we swing. 

Being outside is his favorite!
Bath time is his favorite and daddy gives the best baths.
They laugh and sing and he’s loving the ducky tub.
Now he can sit up like a boss and play with toys!

I still am amazed every single day that God chose me to be this boy’s momma.  I look it him and can’t help but wonder he we were the lucky ones to have the cutest baby in the world.

5 months

These days are flying by, folks.

Flying by so fast I barely have time to get on here and keep track of all the wonderful things that are going on in our lives.  Each day gets better and better and just when I think I have this motherhood thing out….BAM.  Life (otherwise known as Easton) throws me a curveball.

I may sigh.
I may roll my eyes.
I may have a slight panic attack.

But, I am seriously loving it.

This 5 month old is growing so fast. He skipped right through the 3 and 6 month clothing and has decided to move right on to 9 and 12 month clothes. 

So here’s what’s been going on leading up to month 5 for our little E man. 

He’s a talker.  Not a quiet talker.  More of a loud mouth.  I have no idea where he gets it from.  Ha!  Poor little guy really didn’t stand a chance.  Between his mother running her mouth and his father schmoozing work people over all the time it’s probably all he heard in the womb.  Wah wah wah.

We celebrated his first Easter.  It was actually the day before I had to return to work and I have to say it was really nice to spend it with family to keep my mind off of the dreaded day.  I shed some tears when my sister offered to hold him for a nap at family dinner.  I realized it would be on of the last snuggly naps during the day for a while and I just wasn’t ready to give that up.  We visited the creepy Easter bunny and he was still little enough to just stare at the camera and not scream and throw himself around causing a scene.  We did some typical Easter poses with him grabbing an egg but truthfully he had no interest at all in what the kids were doing.  He just drooled and checked out all the colors. 

We also attended my sister’s annual EGGstravaganza.  Again, we posed for pictures.  We pretended he was enjoying coloring eggs.  He just sat there like a bump on a log God love him.  He looked so precious and had no idea why the paparazzi were back again.  He does love all the colors and his big cousins and the loud noises they bring!

After Easter, Easton met Miss Jenny and all of his new friends at daycare on March 28th.  I cried the night before as I read him a bedtime story.  I cried most of the night as I watched him sleep.  I cried as I got him ready.  I cried as I held him basically refusing to put him in his carseat.  I cried the whole way to Jenny’s.  I cried and she held me.  I cried as I walked out her door.  I cried the whole way to work.  I cried as I walked into work.  As soon as I saw my students I pulled it together and held it fairly well until lunch time when I cried again.

Then, all was well with the world.  No more tears.  When I picked that baby up and he was happy as can be with some new friends and friends he loves and a babysitter who loves him dearly all my worries and tears washed away.  He seriously loves it there.  She says he’s always a happy guy.  He loves the other kids.  He naps well.  He eats well.  He’s loving life because he’s socializing and I can rest easy knowing this is the second best option for us.  First would be hitting the lottery and me staying at home.  Miss Jenny is amazing and I don’t worry at all during the day because I don’t know how she does it, but she does.  She loves every single one of the kids like they are her own and she is a miracle worker. 

Being out and about more brought on the usual….runny nose….then cough.  That went on for a couple of weeks.  We used our best friend the “nose frida” and judge me all you want….using that thing is the most glorifying task that motherhood has brought me yet.  (kidding!)

Obviously the chick above is not me.  But it shows you hot to do it.  No, Easton does not lay there that happily and take it.  He’s becoming a serious mover and thrasher for nose suction and diaper changes.  However, he totally is starting to appreciate me a little more when he can breathe.  Then I get to clean the snot from the tube and wash it sludge down the sink.  It’s so gratifying.  It’s disgusting.  Really the disgusting part isn’t that you taste their snot because I promise you don’t.  It’s hearing the snot coming out, seeing it, and washing it away.  It’s like you’ve saved their life.  Just not that grand.  
We use it every morning and every night still because the congestion issue hasn’t gone away.  I know some day this boy owes me a lot for literally sucking the snot from his brain to allow him to breathe better.  I’m his savior, basically.  
On April 11th he rolled from his back to his belly.  He freaked out just a bit because I screamed like a lunatic and scared him and I think he scared himself trying to figure out how in the hell did he do that?!  Lately he’s doing it more often and just tonight he did it twice while chilling on the floor so momma could eat some dinner.  Still each time he does it he looks at me with this confused look about what he’s suppose to do next.  

He’s really starting to notice Shiloh now.  He watches her every move.  She could still care less about him.  She licks him occasionally and then walks away.  I think she’s thoroughly disgusted we brought him home and would like to return him.  Too bad for her!

His chunky thighs and man boobs are super ticklish and I love to get him going.  He sort of tenses up and forgets to breathe when he’s being tickled.  Not too the point of concern but certainly to the point of total cuteness. 

He’s still taking 4 naps a day, 2 longer ones and 2 shorter ones.  He’s up and at em ready to go at 5 am.  He eats and then talks happily while we get ready to head out.  Sometimes he falls back asleep and chills with daddy but that never lasts long.  This also means that he has no idea when it’s Saturday and Sunday and still wants to be up super early.  Not gonna lie, I totally miss sleeping in on the weekends.  However, you should see all the shit someone can really accomplish before 8 am on a Saturday.  It’s insane.

4 month sleep regression.  It’s real.  It’s totally real….and it sucks.  Big time.  4 months and back to work/daycare hit and I swear it’s like he knew I really needed my sleep and just lost his mind every night usually around 11:30, 1:30 and 3:30.  And 3:30 is just late enough that I really never could go back to sleep before waking again at 5.

But guess what?  That phrase “this too shall pass”?  It’s for real.  It passed and we survived.  He started sleeping 7:30-5 again.  Hallelujah!

Then, he got sick.  That whole runny nose thing turned into a cough.  A cough that woke him up and scared the crap out of me.  So I finally took him to the doctor this week.  I thought it was just a cold.  He never ran a fever.  He was never crabby.  A cold will pass too, right?  Well I was starting to feel like it might be something else and got advice from my sister and aunt and we headed to the doctor.  He had a sinus infection and got his first antibiotic.  His ears and lungs were good and clear but poor baby has his momma and poppa’s sinus issues already.

Good news is that he loves the medicine.  I think he would down the whole bottle if I let him but 4.5 mL will have to do.  I hate starting him so young on an antibiotic but I also want him feeling better.  You would never guess the poor kid is sick til you lay him flat and he starts to cough. 

He’s still totally breastfed and that works for us. We will try some food in a month but for now his mommas milk obviously does this little body good!
I take every nap snuggle I can get. That will never change!
He still loves loves loves his baths and found he’s toes and can’t stop playing with them!

His smiles are endless and we are so lucky to have a happy baby!

He loves to read, especially all the touch and feel books. 
Sometimes he watches momma get
ready in the morning. This is my favorite stage so far. Happy and Snuggly yet still immobile. 
We may not get to see his girlfriend, Gracie, as much but they are still madly in love. Can’t wait for the summer!
All dressed up for church. 
Cool dude in his shades. 
As each day passes I love him more and more and can’t figure out why my heart hasn’t exploded into a million little pieces. 
He’s not perfect. 
We aren’t perfect parents. 
But I feel like we are getting pretty damn good at it and our babe seems pretty pleased with our skills. 
I consider that a WIN!

Photo Shoot!

Over Fall Break we went down to Bloomington to visit my sweet little cousin, Codi.  
She is super talented in so many ways, especially behind the camera. 
She took us to an extremely unique old mill in Bloomington for a few photos of the ever growing belly with our sweet pup, Shiloh.  
Take a look!
I had a little fun editing with PicMonkey too….

This shot took FOREVER to try and attempt.
It never quite worked out the way I had envisioned but Codi did the best she could!
Look at those little baby Toms!

My husband loves a good bridge.
Although you can’t totally see the bridge in the background it is there and I must have been sitting high on this log because I’m not taller than him!

He hates this photo but I think it’s adorable. 

I could kiss him all day every day!

I love love love this sign “For this child I have prayed” from a sweet coworker.
So true, so true.
(and something I have to keep remembering as I lose sleep from this uncomfortable bulge and constant urination!)

Thank you Codi for the amazing pictures!
We are so blessed to capture this moment before Easton arrives.  One last family photo shoot before baby boy!

30 weeks

We made it to 30 weeks!

Easton’s the size of a cantaloupe or a motorcycle helmet and I feel like the size of Texas. 

I keep knocking my belly on things and realizing I need more space to get through places. It’s a little difficult to do the dishes and grade papers and I’m finding him getting more in the way than before. It’s all worth it in the end just making life adjustments more and more each day!

We had a little spur of the moment photography session in the beautiful sunflower field with my photographers Michelle Marie and Kynsey Lee.   I love the way these photos turned out.  Now I have some belly photos from 4 weeks, 10, 20, and 30!

We had our first “Birth and Baby” class this week at the hospital. A bit overwhelming with the loads of information. Met two other teachers having babies and lots of other great people. It’s so nice to meet others in our footsteps. And I wanted to give a big squeeze to the young lady there by herself. Proud of her for taking that step which I’m sure felt awkward with all the married couples. The diagram showing the dilation at each stage of centimeters is something I think we all could have gone without seeing. Nobody needs to know it gets that big. Nobody. 
And I still can’t figure out how an entire baby comes out of if even when it’s that big!  Guess that’s why they call it a miracle!
The sweet hubs turns 35 today! I can’t wait to see him be a daddy. He will be nothing short of incredible I’m sure. 
I’m still stressing about all the work left to do to prepare for Easton’s arrival but I’m starting to feel so exhausted I don’t care. I found myself dozing off at work yesterday while the kids were taking a test. Whoops! I feel way more tired than I’ve felt in a while. Kind of like how I felt back in the 1st trimester. And heartburn and acid reflux is back in full gear too. Maybe Easton will have a head full of hair!
I want to go to bed at 6:30 on a Friday night but I know I should accomplish something on this baby to do list.  There’s still so much left to do in the next 10 weeks. 
How will we get it all done?

Out West Part 1

Our trip out west was awesome.  Now, it wasn’t a sandy beach with tropical weather….but there is something just as breathtaking about the beautiful mountains and nature that Idaho, Wyoming, and Montana have to offer. 
The trip started a little rough, I’m not going to lie.  The night before we were scheduled to leave Mike couldn’t figure out why we couldn’t get “checked in” with United Airlines through Orbitz.  Finally, he gave up and figured he would try again in the morning since our flight wasn’t suppose to leave until 5 pm.  The next morning it was his first task to accomplish and roughly about an hour or two after waking up (still in my pjs) he informs me that our flight is leaving at 2 pm, not 5.  
I took a deep breath and made a mad dash for the shower and to finish packing.  I didn’t shed one tear, which is quite an accomplishment for me these days.  I was ready to go in 45 minutes and luckily our ride to the airport (FIL) was over at the house in an hour to get us to the airport.  I did take a quick minute to call Orbitz and scream my head off at some foreigner who proceeded to tell me, “it happens” and they were sorry.  Sorry?!?!  I’m just glad my husband thought to call or we definitely would have missed our flights.  Oh, and I originally booked a flight with one layover and now this one had two.  We had to go to Chicago BEFORE we landed in Denver to then fly again to Sun Valley.  
And wouldn’t you know it that Denver was having some rough weather so we were late getting to Denver because we flew AROUND the storm?  Of course!
However, everyone’s flights were delayed in Denver….so we didn’t miss the second flight to our final destination.  We were suppose to arrive in Sun Valley/Hailey, Idaho around 8 pm and finally made it in around 11 pm.  It was definitely a long day and my swollen feet were seriously unhappy with me….but we made it.  
Side note – Do you know how many moms fly alone with little babies?  A lot!  I was way more observant of this than ever before.  I was shocked.  There is no way I think I could ever do that by myself.  Those babies were perfect, too!  A few tears but mostly sleeping and seriously awesome little campers for a long day of flying.  
Unfortunately we got to the quaint little town of Hailey, Idaho when it was pretty darn dark so we saw next to nothing the night we arrived.  
But when we woke up the next morning….WOW.  My bro and sis-in-law have an incredible property in the mountains.  Right now they are in the process of building their dream home on this property and her dad and sister are there to help this summer.  We’ve seen pictures through text along the way but it didn’t hold a candle to the scenery they get to wake up to every morning.  
Here are a few pictures of their house coming along.  

Guest cabin

Mountain outside their deck

View from their bedroom

Inside look at the loft and the stairs leading up


By the time we left they had installed the deck door here but I forgot a pic!

There’s the deck door.  This is also the camper they are living in while they build. 

Just out their driveway

The next day we all packed up and headed to Stanley, Idaho.  Along the way we made some pit stops to take a look around and see some fabulous scenery of beautiful Idaho.  

There are hot springs EVERYWHERE out west and here’s one of them.
That’s my brother-in-law, David, testing the waters.  

and his lovely white legs

Isn’t my husband adorable? 

I have just about given up on being cute while pregnant.
The scale hasn’t changed a whole lot but boy I feel huge.
And I know it’s only going to get worse!

This overlook was incredible.  

Look at that bump.
Everything is getting larger…ya hear?

Here’s my sis-in-law, Louise, her dad Rich/Dick/Richard/Funny Old Man, and her sweet sweet sister Elaine


We stopped at Red Fish Lake on the way.
Beautiful lake and LOTS of kiddos swimming in some super cold water.
They even had a dog beach for Judy and VooDoo!

Judy’s their sweet stinky dog.
She’s a lot like Shiloh. 

Meeting other dogs on the beach. 

Judy and VooDoo

Here’s another hot spring in Stanley, Idaho.
Of course, being pregnant, it was one of the many things I couldn’t enjoy on the trip.
I’m definitely traveling back out west without a fetus so I can horseback ride, maybe whitewater rafting, and enjoy some hot springs. 

Here’s the cabin we stayed at in Idaho and the boys grilling dinner.
We had delicious trout!

This was looking out behind our cabin.
A beautiful cattle ranch on the Salmon River. 

There’s always part of vacations where the husband wants to do something that totally interests him and sounds terribly boring to me.  I love him dearly so I roll my eyes and go with the flow for a bit to see his eyes sparkle and his smile shine. 
This was that part. 
The dredge. 
He can probably tell you way more about it than I can because I had to pee most of the tour and couldn’t pay attention.  I was also terribly bored and wanted to stick a fork in my eye.  

Basically it’s a huge machine that works like a CoinStar except they were looking for gold.
He would kill me for explaining it like that, but that’s how I understood it. 

Looking sexy at the dredge waiting to hear where the bathroom is. 

The rest of these pics were totally my husband.  I have no freakin clue what they are but I know he wants to show his buddies….sooo……scroll down til something sparks your interest. 

Then we stopped at a ghost town, Custer.  
It use to be a hopping little town for those who worked on the dredge and now it’s nothing. 
BUT, you can walk through some of the buildings which is really neat and see what life use to be like.  
Kind of reminds me of Conner Prairie, without the cool people to reenact.  

I wanted to see inside this house until a rodent crawled across the floor, then I was out.  

Children’s graves who had been lost in an avalanche. 

Still taking work calls.
The man never stops. 

Loved looking at these horses outside of the cabin. 

That’s all for now!
After Hailey and Stanley, Idaho we headed up to Idaho Falls and Yellowstone….part 2 later!
Truly Fortunate for a Beautiful Vacation, 

Book Talk: Motherless Mothers

“There is an emptiness inside of me — a void that will never be filled. No one in your life will ever love you as your mother does. There is no love as pure, unconditional and strong as a mother’s love. And I will never be loved that way again.” 
― Hope EdelmanMotherless Daughters: The Legacy of Loss

It took me years to complete Motherless Daughters. Years.  It was a tough read and I jumped around and read what I needed. 

 Recently on vacation I finished the book Motherless Mothers which I had started as soon as I found out I was pregnant. At first it was way too tough to read but gradually it got easier. 

The fact is….I’m about to be a motherless mother. Whether I want it to happen or not, it’s happening.  It’s tragic and it majorly sucks but I’m the type who likes to read books to deal with things or learn about things and this book did exactly that.  I’m dealing with this situation better than I was before because I read Hope Edelman’s book. 
i learned that becoming a mother meant mourning all over again.  When I was 17 and lost my mom the furthest thing from my mind was getting married and having children.  The thought hadn’t crossed my mind that I would someday be a motherless mother. I couldn’t mourn that loss because it was too far away.  Now it’s happening. I’m more scared for the time following his birth than now. Now I can maintain my emotions and I’m only taking care of myself. When I have a meltdown or bawl like a baby and want to curl up and die….I can (minus the dying part). After he arrives I can’t just break down I have to take care of him and I’m not just going to be taking care of myself anymore. 
The first person I wanted to share my news with after I told my husband was my mom.  After all this time she is still the one I want to share my news with. Seems crazy. I mean, my goodness, this December it will be 14 years since she has been gone. Yet she’s still the one I want to run and tell everything to. 
I’ve learned that having my first child is, in general, a time of immense uncertainty.  I feel most days like I’m acting more like a child than an adult and regressing just a bit.  Just before our vacation I had an entire day of meltdowns to the point where I curled up and didn’t want to leave the bed. I really didn’t want to go on the vacation or leave town. I’m very glad that I did…but at that point in time I didn’t want to leave my room or my bed. 
Probably one of the hardest things (and always has been) is seeing other women with their mothers.  It’s just a painful reminder. I have an amazing group of women who have been there for me since I lost my own mom.  Unfortunately, it’s just not the same. I don’t want anyone to try and replace her. It’s just not even possible.  I tend to get very angry seeing mothers help friends become mothers. Or hearing about mothers getting ready for their own grandchildren.  I get angry because that will never be a possibility for me. And it sucks. This pregnancy has just magnified an already existing problem of me seeing women with their mothers. I will probably forever be a “wishful thinker” missing her emotional support and even her practical help like babysitting, information, and sharing her own personal pregnancy stories. 
I never got the chance to talk to my mom about her own pregnancy with me. I can’t believe I didn’t ask those questions when she was around. It just never crossed my mind. I hate that. I wish I knew how long she was in labor for with me.  I wish I knew if the birth was fast and easy or painful and slow. There’s just so much I wish I knew. As Edelman puts it, “it’s helpful to have a blueprint for comparison as the trimesters progress.”  I have no blueprint from my own mother. Yup, that sucks too. 
I imagine that my mom would have eagerly anticipated another grand baby and been waiting after each prenatal visit for a text or phone call for me to report an update. Right now my husband is amazing and attends every visit with me and occasionally I send my sister or best friend an update but she isn’t there waiting for an update. It’s rough each time I leave because besides my best friend and sister there’s still something missing. I want to call her. No one can replace that. 
According to the novel, “79% of women admitted to having a gender preference during their pregnancies.” I’m one of those. I will fully admit that although a healthy baby was exactly what I wanted I also wanted pink balloons to fly out of that box. In fact I had convinced myself that it would be a girl simply because I wanted him to be. This book helped explain to me why I wanted it to be a girl so badly. I was longing to replace or relive that mother daughter bond in my life by having my own little girl. This was a major lightbulb moment for me.  It actually made me feel better about wanting a girl so bad and being just a little bit bummed when we found out.  I hope that someday I will get the chance to have my little girl and have that mother daughter bond…there’s really no telling.  I certainly don’t want to be greedy, I just miss that bond and having a relationship where my mom was my best friend is something I truly wish to share with my own daughter some day. 
In just a few months (I can hardly believe it) I’ll be in the labor and delivery room.   I’m scared of this part.  I want to have my husband and my sister there as my support team to ease my fears. I wish my mom could be there, of course, but I know that my husband and sister will tag team and keep me calm and comfortable the best they can. I’m fearful of all sorts of things. Things you probably can’t even imagine or wonder why in the heck I would worry about that. It’s just what I do. Sudden loss does that to people. I know I’ll be sad. I hope it doesn’t consume the day that’s suppose to be so wonderful as our first child enters the world but I’m sure at some point….I will be sad. 
Poetpartum? Yes, I’m worried about that too. I think our timing is great because I will be soaring through the holidays with the new bambino and what is not to love about a new baby and Christmas? But after Christmas I always get the winter blues when the excitement is over and the overload of family time fades. 
I’m worried about colic. I’m worried that breastfeeding won’t be successful. I’m just worried it won’t be picture perfect in our house once we bring him home. I know, deep down, that it won’t be. I also know, deep down, that it’s going to be totally okay if it isn’t. No one is perfect and probably more so than that….no first time parents are perfect either. 
Probably the hardest part to read was about the absent grandmother. This little guy will have a ton of loving and caring women in his life that will treat him so special but that doesn’t replace her.  I plan to talk about Mamaw Debbie and let him know all about her. I want him to know what she looks like and talk to her just like his momma does. I want him to ask all the questions in the world to find out more about her. I don’t want her to absent in any way but her physical presence. I want him to feel her around him all the time and know he has his very own guardian angel. He has a grandmother in heaven and not everyone is “lucky” enough to have their own guardian angel.  
This book was like a knight in shining armor that saved me from my worries. They are all still there but I have coping mechanisms to deal with them and someone (Hope Edelman) who gets it. Someone who gets it and has shared stories from other motherless mothers as well. She wrote several other chapters I read that I haven’t discussed her……. about all the years of being a parent up until sending him off to college and I plan to look back quite often for help and guidance. I’m also super fortunate to have an amazing big sister with advice to get me through. 
Through all this I want to thank YOU, the reader, for just listening to me.  I’m not asking for your sympathy or advice but just thank you for being an “ear” to “listen” as I travel on this path to being a motherless mother. 

It’s a…..BOY!

Wow, baby boy, you sure are loved so much already.  Look at all these people who showed up last night just to see if you were a girl or boy.

You literally had a whole “team” on your side and even those, like your momma, who wore pink wishing for bows and tutus will love you just as much.  They were just trying to support your momma who truly wanted to over rule your poppa and flood him with estrogen.   Maybe next time! 😉

It was so fun having so many of our loved ones around to find out what you would be.  We were hoping to have this little party in our back yard where you will spend time running like a wild man eventually.  However, this summer in Indiana has been nothing but rain and we had another crappy weather day.  I don’t feel nearly as bad for myself and not having our party there as I do all those farmers we love so dearly.

Of course we had a few of our favorite little people who really wanted to help us open the box….Brody and Willow.  You see, they were married the same day we were and thought it was only right.  
At this point I was so nervous about opening this box I truly thought I was going to puke everywhere.  

And then it was time to open!

and OH MY GOODNESS I was definitely shocked when those blue balloons popped out. 
I thought for sure you were a girl!

Check out momma’s face. 
Seriously shocked. 

But so happy!

and I instantly wanted to find that ultrasound pic to see what the tech was so “confident” about!

And then there was the “turtle” they claimed we would see. 
And yup, it looks like a turtle. 

Look at your daddy’s face.  He is so stinkin proud. 
And this one below is where I figure out your cousin, Shailynn, is not so happy about having another boy cousin.  I felt really bad, but there is nothing I could do!

Mommy and Daddy are happy!

 and so are your grandparents! 

Notice how all the grandparents wore blue.  They wanted you pretty badly!
I couldn’t have pulled it all off without a BUNCH of my favorite women and definitely this one, my best friend, for allowing us to backtrack from her clean party barn and make it happen.  She has a little guy too who will probably teach you all the bad things you need to know!

Kynsey’s excited!

The happily married couples!

Here’s a photo of your future wife (inside Melissa’s belly) who should arrive in this great big world about the same time as you.  We’ve already arranged your marriages.  You’re welcome!

Now all I can think about is your nursery and all the little things I want you to have and how I can get ready for your arrival.  20 weeks away!

I can’t stop thinking about watching you and your dad outside in the barn working on things.  I can’t wait to watch him teach you everything he knows….and he knows a LOT about fixing things and building things.  You are truly one lucky little boy to have a dad like him.

I can’t wait to love on you and snuggle you, my very own little boy.  I’m excited to welcome you to this world.

I know that despite the difficulties that come with this last name it’s very important for a family name to be carried on, and you will carry it on well my little man.

There are great big things in this world that are waiting for you and I can’t wait to show you them all.


Your Truly Fortunate Momma

16 weeks

Finding out about this little fetus around 6 weeks and looking back……has it really been 10 weeks since then?

Apparently it has!
Last week we heard the babies heartbeat and our doctor has a hard time keeping up with the babes movement because he or she kept moving around. She called our baby “very active.”  Oh great!
I lost two pounds in between appointments and my husband threw me under the bus and made sure to tell my doc I was eating popcorn for dinner. 
Trust me, I know better but for some reason dinner is my struggle. At this point in the day I am very nauseous and nothing sounds good. The last thing I want to do is cook and even my favorite reputations don’t sound great. Food just doesn’t sound good. Occasionally I could get down some popcorn so I figured that was better than nothing. Apparently not. 
I’m working on the eating part and ice cream and slushies (particular Tuttle’s strawberry) are my cravings most days. 
This heat is brutal and I’m starting to feel pregnant as in overweight and large.  Got myself a little hard pooch (as opposed to my soft one before) and getting up and down our stairs leads me to huffing and puffing.  I need to keep up my love of walking but that’s going to require early mornings or late nights and then consuming even more calories that already don’t sound good. 
My apps and book say 3 different things for this week. The baby is either the size of a dill pickle, lemon, or avocado. I think they relate the baby to foods just to make me feel more nauseous. 
I’m avoiding telling you about the really nasty gross perks of pregnancy.  I save all those for telling my husband. He wrinkles his nose and shakes his head but deep down I know he loves it.  He’s just as gross so who cares. He’s a man!
Just less than a month and we find out what bambino is. Going to keep it a secret all day and take the news to our local florist. We will have her put balloons in a box and have a reveal that night with some family and friends at our house. Can’t wait for that!

Telling the littles

Hiding our news from the little people in my life has been REALLY hard.  I’ve wanted to tell them but knowing it wasn’t totally “safe” yet kept me from sharing our news.  I also wanted to tell them in a fun way and it was perfect that it fell around the time of our family game night with the Ruttans.

It was hard to find a “game” to tell them but I decided on some good ole fashioned balloon popping. They were actually excited to pop balloons!

Inside each balloon was a word for the final message, “You’re going to be big cousins.”

Check out their reaction here!

I’m so fortunate to have had these 3 in my life and prepare me, somewhat, for what motherhood will be like.  Uncle Mike and Aunt Addie love you all very much and we look forward to you showing our little one the ways of life in the family. 
I love that Brody has named the baby Rosy Flower in hopes it will be a girl. 
I love that Kynsey giggled uncontrollably when I showered her the ultrasound pictures and wanted to know every detail of the gender reveal party. 
I love that Brayden and Kendyl were so excited and even said, “that’s unbelievable!”

All our special little ones are excited to be a part of our little ones life which only means one thing…..this baby is already Fortunate. Already blessed. 
So very fortunate, 

We’ve got big news!

Mother’s Day has never been that easy since 2001 but today I can’t quite get the smile off of my face.  I’m so excited to tell the world that we’ve been blessed with the gift of becoming parents….in November!

It’s been difficult to “blog” since finding out because it’s hard to talk about anything without blabbing about our great news.

So, let’s start from the beginning.

Since July last year we’ve “tried” to join the parent’s club.  We shared in sadness almost every single month when things just hadn’t quite been in the timing we had hoped.  We heard of others getting pregnant and I shed a few tears because I’m extremely impatient and wanted my moment NOW.

I received gifts of encouragement from friends. Thanks Patti!

I tracked my temperature daily and just about ran out of ovulation tests.  I tried the electronic and cheapy ones.  (fyi….the cheap ones are the way to go)

I waited for those smiley faces.

 I used an app and told my husband exactly when the magic had to happen.  It almost became stressful.

Scratch that, I totally made it stressful.

We prayed.

We prayed a lot.

I cried.

I cried a lot.

And then one weekend we went on a long hike in Brown County and I though, “man I am really out of breath.”  I had taken a test that was negative but still had some early symptoms and kept pushing them aside.

Too many times had I felt like I had the right symptoms and had proven wrong.

Monday of Spring Break rolls around and Mike heads off to work.  I hopped out of bed and decided….what the heck.  May as well try.

Then I was in total bawling, freaking out shock when that little faint line appeared.

So I did what every single girl does.  I told the dog and then panicked that the line wasn’t dark enough so I facetimed my baby making expert friend, Melissa.  Her sweet little boys answered and I screamed, “get mommy!  I think I have something to show her!”  She ran to the screen with makeup all splotched on her face and said “show me now!”  I showed her and she confirmed it.  I was pregnant!   
I wanted to call my husband so bad but I also wanted to tell him in person.  So I told the dog some more.  She seemed to not care one bit. 
That day I ran some errands and picked up a few things.  I might have stopped at Barnes and Nobles to use up some gifts cards…
I also might have stopped at Babies R Us just to look around and buy something for my gift to daddy.  
I sat on the couch nervous and excited and waited for Mike to come home from work.  He sat down and told stories about his day as I listened patiently acting like nothing was up. 
Finally, I told him I had been crafting all day and asked if he wanted to see what I had made.  

It was quite fun to tell my husband he was going to be a daddy.  You can watch below.

His tears were exactly what I needed.  I had wanted to tell him all day long on the phone but I was so glad that I had waited.  
I had always saved the ring box he proposed to me with and used that to put in a pacifier.  

That night (March 16, 2015) we wanted to shout to the world our good news, but I already knew that wasn’t a great idea. 
We’ve waited as long as we can to tell everyone.  We’ve heard our little cherubs heartbeat twice and we continue to pray that this pregnancy is successful.  
The first time we heard the heartbeat we both cried.  It’s just the most incredible feeling to hear that heartbeat and see the little “bean” that is growing inside of you.  
Last week we were able to see the progress and growth of our little one.  I’m still in shock by the change!
My best friend was so kind and gracious to help us get some pictures done for our big announcement.  They turned out wonderful and we did the best we could with a crazy dog!

I promise to get back to regular blogging.  I have so much tell you about the joys of becoming a mother….the nausea, exhaustion, mood swings, and more!  I doubt I’ll hold back much though I’m sure my future children wish I would.  
It’s just too exciting not to tell you it ALL.  
You can thank me later! 
Two more pics I created with ideas from pinterest……  These are things I’ve already learned that I’ll do for baby #1 but probably not ever again, so why not, right? 

AND I received my first ever Mother’s Day present this morning.  I cried.  Maybe it was the hormones or maybe it was because I was so stoked my husband recognized that.  He’s a busy guy right now so it’s so nice to be thought of.  

So incredibly fortunate,