Pajama goals

Everyday my goal is to be out of our pajamas and in real clothes by 10 am. Most of the time we meet that goal. I didn’t say that goal included a bra….just clothes other than pajama pants. 

Today….not so much. 
It’s 5pm and I just showered and put on clean pajamas. I went from dirty, spit up, milk covered pajamas to clean pajamas that will likely be covered in all the elements in less than an hour. 
Today this boy was clingy and cuddly and I loved it. I loved it minus the fact we’ve been up since 4 am but that’s just being honest. I’m a little tired. He’s had a few longer naps but since he doesn’t want to be put down I don’t sleep nearly as well as he does because I’m staring at him wishing the clock would stop. 
He had some big yawns today. 
So today we didn’t meet our pajama goal. Next goal up is a bath before 10pm for little mister. 
We got this. 

I Wasn’t Expecting That

This morning as I watched the Today show I found a new love. His name is Jamie Lawson and he has an incredible song that brought me to tears, “I Wasn’t Expecting That”

Then I googled it to watch the music video and was brought to tears all over again. This video, you guys. Woah. 
Easton’s been here for 19 days and I already need time to slow down. I see him changing and I hate change. I want him to stay my little baby boy forever and I know that isn’t possible. I’ve had a million moments of “not expecting that” since he’s arrived and I know there will be a million more. 
Someday he will grow up and marry a beautiful girl and have his own family. That kills my gut to even admit it….but it’s true. 
I can only hope that he will treat his wife like his father has treated me. I am absolutely blessed and lucky to have this perfect baby boy. What keeps me going and not get too terribly depressed about him leaving me is the fact that I’ll always have his daddy. The other perfect guy for me. 
Take a look at the music video and grab a Kleenex. Time flies and I hate change. If you do too……then this video will certainly make you realize they grow up too quickly and for me, well, my heart just can’t take it. 

2 weeks old

Yesterday our little man was 2 weeks old. No one tells you the first two weeks is hard….until the first two week is hard. Then they all tell you….oh it’s normal. 

However normal it may have been…..it was way out of my comfort zone. To feel emotionally unstable and not have my every minute planned and organized and beckoned to every single moment of need by the tiniest being. That is all a true test of how kick ass parents you truly can be. 
We passed the test, if I do say so myself. E survived and made it to his 2 week appointment. We are breastfeeding champs compared to day 4 of his life. And the best news of all….he made it back to birth weight….and more! Today he weighed in at 8 lbs 3 oz. In the first two weeks of this boy’s life I believe we did weight checks at the doctors office at least 6 times. Once on Thanksgiving morning. That’s one hell of a doctor to care enough to meet you on Thanksgiving morning. There were a couple of days I was ready to give up breastfeeding because it took every good and holy thing out of my system AND I didn’t think my baby was getting enough to eat. 

E and I wouldn’t be in mommy baby bliss if it weren’t for the best dad and husband this world has ever known. 


This man has seen me at my absolute worst and was by my side holding my hand the entire way. He listened to me cry from sun up to sun down that first week home. He dried my tears. He rubbed my back while I breastfed through the wee hours of the morning. He’s a diaper changing machine. He even wakes up with me in the middle of the night to change diapers when he doesn’t have to. He supports me and we make one hell of a team. 

We decided after a few days of being home that our marriage was stronger in those wee hours of the morning moments than it had been in quite a while. This tiny cherub God blessed us with brought us together closer than I ever imagined. I knew we were an incredible couple who could tackle any obstacle but I had no idea our strength until now. 

I’m proud of us and I don’t care who knows it. Maybe I sound arrogant. Or maybe I’m just being honest and you’re jealous. 

I never sugar coat shit so that doesn’t go without saying that the smell of my hubs open Rockstar cans in the car make me want to punch him in the face. Or that when he cooks dinner he tends to make one hell of a mess and usually assumes the dog will clean up the floor after him. Or that he snores like a beast and farts in his sleep. All that….and I still love him so. 

No, we aren’t perfect. I bet he has an even better list of the things about me that annoy him. 

We aren’t perfect. But we’re perfect together and we made a perfect little boy.

 


A perfect little boy who is figuring us out and who we are still figuring out. 

I never knew I could love someone so much or love my husband more. When I see the two of them together I can’t imagine my life any different than these very moments. 

And then I cry again because time is already flying by. 

2 weeks?

How can it be 2 weeks already?

Oh incredibly unbalanced hormones. You can leave anytime now. Thanks. Bye. 

Yours truly, 

One Wacked Out PostPartum Momma
Her Super Perfect Baby Boy
And Incredibly Supportive Baby Daddy


Easton’s Debut

Introducing….Easton Wayne! Only a month and a half late on this write up. Who knew a newborn would consume so much of my time?!


This is not for the faint at heart or those who gross out easily. I am for real telling you most of the beautiful details of Easton’s arrival. 

9:30 pm on November 21st and I was headed to get a delicious bowl of ice cream as my healthy pre bedtime snack. I stood up from the couch and think “crap….I’ve peed myself again.”  I’ve lost all bodily function control to this fetus. How embarrassing. Thank goodness I’m not in Walmart like last time. Yes, in the spice aisle I peed myself. That’s at the back of the store, by the way. I couldn’t even bend over to see how bad my pants were. Nor did I care. 
Anyways, I head to the bathroom to finish it off and stand up. I walk slowly to the living room to fill in my husband on my latest bodily function catastrophe and a slow leak continued.  Very calmly I told him, “honey I think my water might have broke.”
He kind of jumped out of his chair and we decided it was best if I called the doctor on call to be sure before heading to the hospital. He headed upstairs while I made the call. Doctor called back and I explained how it wasn’t a big gush like the movies so I didn’t want to waste our time heading to the hospital. She explained it’s hardly ever really like that and tells me to head on in to triage where they will verify that my water did indeed break. 
I went upstairs to finish packing our bathroom bag and grab my favorite pillow where I couldn’t locate my husband. After I called for him he rushed out of the bathroom. Apparently if your wife tells you her water broke it sends nerves to your stomach which prompt a restroom visit. Poor guy. 
We were so excited. I was started to freak out a bit. Shit was about to get real. I kept thinking how I’d been so ready for this little by to arrive but I wasn’t really prepared for the pain he was about to send to me to make his debut. 
We loaded up the car. I’m found towels and whatever I could locate to attempt to not ruin the new vehicle. At that point I knew if it wasn’t my water breaking I have seriously lost all control of my bladder. Things were getting messy and it felt disgusting! We were out the door in less than half an hour and on our way to the hospital. We both made phone calls the whole 10 minute drive there to tell everyone….it’s happening! We also told them to get some sleep and come see us tomorrow when baby arrived. We really didn’t figure our man would make his appearance this late in a Saturday night or even early Sunday morning for that matter. 
Then we got checked into the hospital. I didn’t even sit down for fear of the furniture I would ruin and the charge to our insurance. They quickly got me back to triage where I’m undressed, in a gown, and being checked to verify that, indeed, my water did break. 
11:00 pm and the test results are back that my water did break. They got me hooked up to an IV and I’m signing consent forms waiting to be moved back to a real room. I felt like I was signing my life away. I truly could have and wouldn’t have even known it. 
I knew the night ahead was going to be long! 
Finally we got back to a real luxury room (seriously,they are….) and I metmy nurse, Ashley. She asked if I’m interested in an epidural after we got all settled and I figured why not get that going. What’s the point in waiting until I’m in so much pain I can’t bear it? God made someone who made the epidural and I’m all about using God’s plan to progress this labor in the best interest of my pain level. It was around 2 am when I got the epidural and that nurse who administered it was freaking hilarious. Like, Cam from Modern Family hilarious. 
Throughout the next 4 hours the contractions began to worsen pretty quickly. I was dilated to a 4 at that point and I was starting to recall all those breathing techniques I had made fun of in birth and baby class might actually come in handy. Meanwhile, my loving husband was getting some rest over in the man cave and God love him….each snore I heard him take I wanted to punch him in his sweet little face. I wanted to badly to get the last few hours of sleep I knew I would ever get in the next 18-30 years and I just couldn’t. The contractions were too close and way too painful to get any sleep. 6 am rolls around and I started to feel like I needed to push. Ashley suggests we got the epidural guy back (not an anesthesiologist, by the way….weird, I know) and see if he can give me some more juice. He came back and juiced me again but I really felt the need to push anyways. 
My sweetheart was awake at this point and I let him know that I was really afraid what kind of bodily functions would occur when I did start pushing. Truly, all modesty is out the window once you arrive at the hospital to have a baby and it only gets worse. I begged him to move away or look away from down yonder because I was afraid that if he saw something that scarred him he may not ever look at me the same way. I didn’t want this to be our last baby and needed him to be romantic with me again. I didn’t know what was happening but I knew it couldn’t have looked pretty. 
7 am was shift change and its also not the greatest time for you to get furth dilated because no one was interested in checking me when I told them repeatedly I really needed to push. Finally after shift change I told them I needed to push once more and they decided to check and see if my dilation had changed from a 4. 
Guess what? In 45 minutes (last check at 6:30 am) I had progressed and was now dilated to a 9! It was go time and not a soul in the waiting room like I knew they wants to be and worst of all….my sister wasn’t there to be in the delivery room with us. I really wanted her there to take pictures and be that female voice of reason…the one who has done it all before and can get me through it. Let’s face it, my husband was going to say and do all the right things but my sister was going to scream, “Push! People don’t leave here without a baby!” And she did. 
By 8:30 I was starting to push and because my husband called my sister right away and my brother in law drives like a bat out of hell she made it just in time. Pushing was exhausting and each time I did push Easton’s heart rate would drop. It happens a lot, but it’s still scary as hell. 
I was on oxygen to help out his heart rate. Hence the mask pic. 
I was shocked that it was only me and our wonderful team of nurses until the very end. The doctor didn’t show up until it was truly game time and a baby was about to be born! Those nurses don’t get nearly enough credit and I had one hell of a team. I had 3, actually. One was a student and the other two were RN’s who had the best sense of humor and totally “got” me. They were amazing cheerleaders and I feel like I couldn’t have done it without them, though I probably could have. 
My husband. My sweet and loving husband held my hand the entire time and held my leg too. His eyes sparkled with loving tears. He was my biggest fan and was by my side, literally, the entire time giving me the kindest words of encouragement. He’s so adorable. He was so excited and ready to be a daddy. Easton and I are super lucky to have him. 
I’ll spare you the super bloody pics. I find them super endearing and sweet but I doubt the rest of the world does. 
This feeling…..
The first look at this tiny life you’ve created. There really aren’t any words for the feeling that overcomes you. It’s so incredible. It’s such a miracle. I couldn’t believe I was finally a mom. I had waited my whole life to be a mom and meet this tiny human who would change my world, for the better, forever. He was perfect. Everything about him.  His tiny fingers and tiny toes. He stole my heart instantly. 
 The instant mother in me wanted him to breathe and cry and that made me nervous. I found out later he had the cord wrapped around his neck twice. This tiny human scared me from second number one and I bet he does it a few more times in his life. 
Daddy cut the cord…
And I got to kiss his sweet little cone head. 
Our first kiss. 
At the time I totally missed his totally misshapen head. Once I looked back at this photos I was like….woah.  My sister later informed me she told the baby nurse to cover that thing up with a hat quickly and they did. Lucky for me and E….it took natural shape fairly fast. 

The baby nurse was loving and fabulous and took wonderful care of our little man. When my sister joked that he had six toes she kind of panicked and checked again and then laughed and realized we were all just a bunch of jokesters. 
He still makes the same face when he’s hangry. Of course I think it’s adorable. 
8 pounds and 1.6 oz
20.5 inches long
Is this not the cutest pouty face you’ve ever seen?
And that hair. We were all shocked considering his fathers hair status. It made sense considering the heartburn I had though! His hair goes down to his neck. Almost a baby mullet. 
After we had a good hour or so of bonding, skin to skink and attempts at nursing daddy was super excited to go tell the waiting room full of family about his arrival. 
A thumbs up for the crowd….
I don’t even care how I look….because this is pure happiness right here. 
I was a momma and on cloud 9 at this absolute perfection laying on my chest. 
And obviously poppa is super proud too. 
So glad she got there in time. 
The visitors poured in after we had our family bonding time and they all met E one by one amazed at how much hair he had. 
This might be one of my favorite pictures. 
All the “Wayne” boys. Easton is so lucky to carry on a family name and one who reminds me every day of an uncle I loved so much. 
Brody was very concerned that Easton was just a body because of how he was swaddled up and he insisted on seeing the rest of him. 
He might not be the little girl cousin she dreamed of but she was still in love. 
Cousins!
Mamaw and Papaw Plank
A lady near and dear to our hearts, Patty. She’s basically another grandma. Easton’s pretty lucky to have a lot of ladies who play the role of grandma and fill in for his Mamaw Debbie. 
Grandma and Grandpa Schenck
Michelle and Easton. He’s also lucky that his mommy has a ton of wonderful friends in her life. They will all be like aunts to him. He will be watched over and smothered with love no doubt. 
Jeffer and Meg
Even the twins were there for his debut!
The pediatrician from our doctors office stopped by. She said he looked great and was very sweet and kind!
Kynsey Lee came to grab some snuggles too. 
Later that day we grabbed another family photo. We were both starting to look a little tired. Been up for quite a while now!
Easton’s social media photo debut. Nametag idea courtesy of Pinterest of course!
Easton and Aunt Kiki
E and cousin Chey
E and Aunt Cathy and Codi
My heart melts at this photo too. She’s in love. 
Cousin Codi is more like an aunt and she was his first home visitor and came to grab snuggles at the hospital each day. 
Aunt Holly
Bath time for Easton and he was not a fan until……
The running water over his head. He still, to this day, loves water over his head. 
And a new outfit !
Easton and Unkie Josh. 
Daddy’s best friend visited too…..Dave and Trisha!
One of mommy’s best friends stopped by too and her little one Miss Mallory!
Unkie B officially nicknamed Easton “EDubs”
The first day Brody visited he didn’t seem to care too much abut Easton. He was concerned he was just a head and once he saw his body he just wanted to hang out on the couch. The second day he visited he declared him “my baby.”  He’s so good with him, loves to hold him, and still calls him his baby. 
Of course sister is just as crazy about him!
Best friend Meg 
Papaw came back the second day for snuggles too. 
Uncle Wood and Aunt Cathy visited us after their anniversary dinner. 
The next morning it was time to head home. I kind of panicked a bit. They were going to trust us to take this real baby home by ourselves? What the hell?
It was nice to get home in the morning so we could adjust and get settled but I don’t think either of us truly felt ready. Do you ever when you’re first time parents?
The kind nurse helped us get him buckled in. 
He did not love being in his car seat and still doesn’t really care for it. 
Proud daddy and I was behind walking in pain. Holy cow was I in pain. 
Loaded up and ready to go!
Our first visitor at home….the beautiful cousin Didi.
I never knew I could love someone so much until I became a mother. Everyone tells you it’s a feeling like no other and they ain’t lying. He is certainly the best thing that has ever happened to me.  I feel like I’m the happiest I’ve ever been despite the fact that I probably cry more now than I ever did before. Is that even normal? Does that even make sense?
Being a mother makes you this entirely different, yet better, person. I’m a better person. It feels so good to be a mom and be a better person. Every day I thank God for this little miracle. This sweet angel boy that covers me in spit up and farts as he smiles at me. I’m so lucky to be his mommy. 
He’s 6 weeks old now and weighing in close to 11 pounds. Every day he changes just a bit and every day I shed at least one tear about how quickly he’s growing and how fast our time together is flying. I’m fortunate enough to stay home until after spring break which is about 4 months of his life.  I’m still, however, hoping to hit the lottery or figure out a way to stay home forever. I don’t doubt his babysitter, Miss Jenny, will take great care of him just as if he’s her very own….but I just don’t want to miss anything. I trust her completely and I know he will be in wonderful hands with her everyday. I’ve had to pray a lot and a friend referred me to Phillipians 4: 6-7 to pray and lessen my worries a bit. It’s helping but I will need to continue to pray. I want to enjoy each day as it come and not stress about my going back to work.  Live in each moment they say, easier said than done. 
For now I’ll crawl back on the floor and video some tummy time smiles and enjoy this day with my sweet little boy. 

Now I know

 Before I give you the nitty gritty just stop and fall in love with my sweetheart. 


Is he not the most precious thing you’ve ever met?
He also farts like a man. 
I still love him like no other love though. 

Things I wish like hell someone had told me about the Adventures of Parenthood:


1 week after having a baby I couldn’t for the life of me figure out why anyone would ever want to have more kids. The labor is painful. The hormones are ridiculous. Why would I ever want to do this again. Week 3 hits and the hormones have subsided a bit and you’re totally uncontrollably in love with this little person and time is flying by and all you can think about is doing it all  over again in the future to have these moments again. 

Now I know. 

Approximately 30 weeks or so for me and for 3 or so weeks after delivery It feels like someone had punched me down yonder and it hurt  to walk. Real bad. 
Now I know. 
Before delivering I lost all bladder control. I didn’t even know how bad it could get. Like peeling when you stand up after you’ve already peed. I swear he laughed inside as he adjusted himself further on my bladder. Coughing. Laughing. Sneezing. Everything required crossing my legs. Before pregnancy I was like a damn camel. I could go all day long without going. Nope, not while pregnant. My classroom is directly across from the restroom, thank goodness. My kids knew if I snuck out where they could find me. It was every hour, at least. Ridiculous. I am happy to report, for those wondering, that my camel like status has returned. 
Now I know. 
I’d heard about the hormones. I’ve seen them in action from living with my sister and BIL when Shai was born. I’ve seen friends at home after giving birth. I thought I’d have a handle on things experiencing it through so many others. Ummmmm…..no. Hell no. WRONG. During pregnancy I cried about sentimental things. Songs on the radio. Sweet commercials (Riley Children’s Hospital one still gets me). Stupid videos on Facebook. Everything. After E was born for two weeks straight I basically cried all day long. All. Day. Long. I cried because it was getting dark outside. I cried because a visitor left. I cried because E was crying. I cried because there was no way I could ever let my husband go back to work and do this alone. I cried because he wouldn’t latch on right and it hurt. I cried because he wasn’t gaining weight fast enough. I cried because I was sleepless. All day long. I cried. My poor sweet husband took care of me the entire time. Rubbed my back. Dried my tears. Handed me Kleenex. Sent me to bed. I look back and have no idea how he did it without losing his damn mind. But he did. Thank God he did. Hormones are real and for some, like me, baby blues are freaking scary real. I was so worried I wouldn’t come out of it after two weeks like most do. Postpartum depression. I just wanted a pill to feel normal again. Everyone kept telling me to wait it out. I did and I survived. Not everyone does. That shit can be real scary. 
Now I know. 
Hormones also caused me to get real hairy. Hairy chin. Hairy belly. Just hairy. It’s rather gross and I’m guessing I’ll never return to normal. What in the world though?
Now I know. 
Oh that bladder thing, You might pee your pants. Not saying that I did. But you might. 
Now I know. 
At some point you might struggle wiping. Your arms get shorter or your belly just gets in the way. It’s like things just get lost. This is probably more information than you needed, but since when have you known me to hold back? And if you’ve ever been pregnant you know exactly what I’m talking about. 
Now I know. 
Speaking of the toilet, Constipation blows. But not literally.  It’s like you’re going to give birth on the toilet. Then nothing happens. 
Now I know. 
Cravings do exist. Sometimes not til the end. Pancakes. Mmmm pancakes. I still dream of pancakes and believe someday Easton will have a love for them just like momma. Pancakes from Cracker Barrel or my husband are the best. Apparently my BIL Brandon makes amazing pancakes but he was never kind enough to make me any. That’s a bunch of crap, isn’t it? 
Now I know about cravings. 
You also can’t reach places you want to scratch. It’s like your arms aren’t long enough for anything. You’ve lost so many abilities and not being able to scratch that irritable stretching skin is a bunch of crap too. 
Now I know. 
You can get an epidural. But there’s a chance it will wear off by the time it’s actually showtime. And you can feel every rip tear and pain. BUT your doctor may tell you that you are a great pusher all because you could feel it. Gee, thanks doc. Is there some sort of special seat in heaven for being a great pusher? No?  Not interested then. Give me the epidural and give me more next time please. 
Now I know. 
After giving birth you will not be done. You’ll have to push the placenta out and for me that felt amazing. I felt like I lost another part of me but in a good way….like I had lost another 8 pounds. What no one cares to tell you is that your doctor also checks your bum hole and tells you she’s going to as she’s doing it. Ummm. Hi. I just pushed out an 8 lb miracle how about a little heads up before you stick your finger there. Ok?
Now I know. 
Contractions. You’ll know when you’re having them and you won’t remember a damn thing about breathing when they come if you took that way too informative birth and baby class. They do suck a bit but the end result is incredible. A new life. Created by you and the Hubs. 
But now I know. 
E is almost 7 weeks and I am so glad that we still have quite a bit of time together at home. For so many reasons. He changes every single day. I don’t want to miss one thing. I will tell you I had no clue how much time this little human would consume. There are days I begin to smell myself and wonder when I showered last. Sometimes showering isn’t worth hearing him scream because I’ve already loved him so much he doesn’t like to be put down. He’s not spoiled, just really loved. He is very time consuming but worth every second. 
Breastfeeding is a beast. It hasn’t been easy for us since day one. I thought in the hospital I was a pro. Each time a lactation consultant (LC) would come in I had family visiting and I was like “nah, I got this” and dismissed them. Biggest mistake ever. I needed their help and I waited too long to ask for it. Despite our latch issues and my bleeding sore nipples we are over 7 weeks EBF (exclusively breastfed) minus the day back in his first week he had a bit of formula to help him gain some weight. I’m no super woman I just had a great husband, wonderful cousin and friend who ARE pro milkers, and a great support group at the hospital full of amazing LC’s. I couldn’t have done it without any of them. I also had a sister and best friends telling me it was okay to quit if I couldn’t do it….and I needed them too. Basically everyone telling me whatever I thought was best and could handle….that would be perfectly fine for me and E. Since I’m stubborn as hell I really wanted to keep going if I could. There were (and still are) multiple times I was ready to be done but somehow we’ve made it this far. No, I have no idea how long I’ll nurse him but I have a few goals in mind. I hope I can accomplish them but if I can’t we will both be just fine. I’ve learned that breastfeeding is not for everyone.  I love the bonding. I love every moment he smiles that milk drunk smile and lets me know he’s full and content. Easton’s a bit pokey at eating….like 30-45 minutes pokey. And when that’s happening every 2-3 hours…..our day is basically consumed with him latched on and me sitting down. I’m not really a sitter so that’s been tough. I know that he’s not always starving because I’ve also learned it’s not always about being a food source. Sometimes I’m just comfort for him. I’m a soother. A pacifier. I’m his mommy and he wants to be close. I didn’t know it would take up so much of my day but I’m so very glad my whole day is him. 
Now I know. 
Now I know how amazing it is to be a mother and I miss mine even more every day. Wishing she were here for all these moments. 
Now I know I would never want to do anything else in my life but have sore nipples, hemorrhoids, crazy hormones, and losing bladder control if love looks like this….

Truly Fortunate!

39 weeks

Another week has passed and no big sins that he’s ready to make an appearance. I’m feeling a little guilty for leaving work early despite my miserable feeling. The house is fully nested. Christmas card addresses are done. Christmas shopping has begun and a spreadsheet of what’s left to do. Today I’m venturing out to Walmart and Walgreens for a bit of walking in hopes of sparking something inside. 

At 39 weeks he’s around the size of 
Or
Or 
A cat? Really? Rather odd but I’m sure my cousin, Codi, will enjoy it. 
At the doctors on Monday she said I was dilated to a 3 and she stripped my membranes. Again, she said she would probably see me soon as that would likely move things along. Here I sit 3 days later watching the Today show and blogging wondering why I’m not still working. Oh ya, it’s because I’m in pain and misery and not sleeping. That’s why!
He must be very content inside. I must have made him a nice cozy spot and he’s just going to take his time. Maybe he’s stubborn? Not sure where he would get that from. Ha!
Today I’m going to bake some labor inducing cookies, eat them while bouncing on the exercise ball, and maybe some other tips from friends. Some a little too risqué to admit on here. 🙂
Not trying to rush him in his sweet time just wanting him to know his mommy and daddy are anxiously awaiting his arrival!

38 weeks

Yesterday marked 38 weeks of baking for Easton. This momma is ready for him to come any day now. 
He’s the size of 

Or
Or a 
Yesterday was the last day of teaching for me. I had originally planned on working 2 days before my due date. Now I know that 38 weeks is long enough and I give mad props to any momma that can work longer than that. Just walking from my car to my classroom at the beginning and end of each day was exhausting. I knew on Monday when my doctor said it could be any day and possibly end of this week or weekend that I wanted to wrap things up ASAP. We had a few crazy days at work of insane schedules that I wanted to try and get my cherubs through and then I would feel better leaving them. Yesterday I stayed after 3 hours and finished every last little detail and walked out at 5 pm ready to leave it all behind and focus on me and E for the next few months. I know March 28th will be here before I know it and I will be back to work and my baby boy will be growing like a weed before my eyes. 
I enjoyed getting sweet gifts from my little cherubs and a nice surprise from a coworker on my last day. 

Right now I just want to live in the moment and enjoy it all. 
This week has been overwhelmed with sadness for loved ones and ones I don’t even know losing momma’s to cancer, in childbirth, and crazy violence. My heart has just been broken for all of them. It causes this soon to be momma so much sadness and worry. I’ve been on prayer overload.  I’ve been missing my own mom more than the usual….which is a LOT right now. 

Momma’s are simply irreplaceable. There’s so much I wish I could tell her. Every week when we leave our doctors appointments I feel I have no one to call. I know many friends or my sister or aunt would hear from me but the real person I want to be able to call is my mom. Then I cry and whine alone thinking life just isn’t fair. 

My loved ones who lost their own momma too soon this week are an amazing family. Their mom was one of a kind. She loved all and gave all of herself on a daily basis. She leaves behind one hell of a legacy to be proud of. I think that makes it even harder to lose her. 
It’s always the void in your heart that causes the most pain. Some days that void is huge….holidays, birthdays, special moments. Then you get lucky and other days it’s barely there. Then you realize that void isn’t there and you feel bad. Like you’ve moved on without them. It’s like a constant pull on your heart. Back and forth. 
I only wish to those who’ve lost their mom this week that they find comfort in the thought of Heaven. It gets me through every day. Knowing I will see her again. I think Easton is with her now waiting to meet all of us. He’s a lucky dude hanging with his Mamaw until it’s time to make his debut to us. 
Heaven is what gets me through. 

37 weeks

We’ve made it to 37 weeks! Easton is full term and I’m about fully ready to have him. 
He’s the size of a
L
Or a
Or the odd one
I found this “Stages of Pregnancy” this week on Facebook and couldn’t agree more. 
The trouble is..I thought I wa peeing a lot a month ago. I had no idea it could be even more frequent! If I stand up, I have to go. If I cough, I have to go. 
If I breathe, I have to go. 
The hubs and I took advantage of the perfect Halloween costume….a pregnant nun and a priest. I’m sure this offends some but it’s all in good fun. Lord, bless our baby!
We had a doctors appointment on Monday and got to see Easton. His cheeks are chubby. His belly is chubby. His lips are pouty and I seriously can’t wait to meet him. 
Found out I’m dilated to 1 cm and it could be any day! It could also be a while. So, every move I make or pain I feel I start to panic that I’m going into labor. My sweet man has never missed an appointment and I know that makes me a lucky girl. He even became an adult this week and made a couple of appointments of his own, including some vaccinations he needs and a check up on himself. 
He always makes sure to love on our exceptionally lazy, overwhelmed pooch, Shiloh. She’s been one hot mess lately. In our faces. Acting like she’s about to be replaced or something. 
1 year anniversary with Nerium this week! Love this stuff. Wouldn’t sell it if I didn’t. Seriously love what it does to take care of my skin and how freaking simple it is to use. One little bottle in my bathroom and one step each night. I see so many other competing companies and can’t imagine having to add shelving in my bathroom just for all those products!
Today my class celebrated with me and threw me a baby shower. 
Cutest shower ever. 
They guessed how many m&ms in a baby bottle. They tried to figure out how much streamer it would take to go around my belly. Some were nicer than others! They made me an advice book with a silly picture of Easton. Their advice is priceless and wonderful. We had pizza and cupcakes and they had so much fun. They all chipped in to get me a gift card and I feel so blessed! I’m going to be sad to leave them. I knew it would be hard but they’ve made it even harder because they are such an amazing class!
I have complete faith they will stay incredible while I’m gone and be prepped and ready for my return in late March. 
Probably the highlight of my day Was hearing about a baby gift arrival…..our umbrella stroller and swing. Love getting gifts in the mail from amazing friends!
Even better is that the FedEx guy who dropped off the swing asked Mike if he was going to be a first time GRANDPA. A  grandpa?!?! 
Hahahahahahaha!
Oh I wish I could have been there to see my sweet husbands face. I would have gladly told the delivery driver that those grey hairs that cover his chin and the bald head….those things are from being married to me. 
Ha!
So fortunate, 
Ashley

36 weeks

This is starting to really fly by. 

And I heard the song today “You’re Gonna Miss This” and bawled like a baby. I do that a lot. 
Alone. 
In my car. 
I am going to miss this. Right now Easton is safe inside and even though I can’t sleep and feel like I’m going crazy…I’m going to miss this. 
Today he’s the size of 
Or a
I use to love my cabbage patch dolls! Still probably have one somewhere! I’ll probably sneak one in for E despite what his dad says. Boys can play with baby dolls, right?
This week leading up to 36 involved more nesting. This time it was expensive but so well worth it. One of my Pinterest pins suggested stocking up on household items to avoid, or try to avoid, going out once baby arrives. 
We made a trip to Sam’s Club and dropped a pretty penny. We spent quite a bit of time price comparing things. We went with the cheap wipes and will hope for the best. I quickly learned there is no way I could have done that trip without him like I had originally planned too. It doesn’t help that I’ve come down with a cold or bronchitis (doctor tomorrow) but I still could not have managed that trip without my wonderful man. 

We made one more trip on that sexy romantic Friday date night, my personal favorite and his arch nemesis….Target. 
Before Target we stopped to have dinner at O’Charley’s where I learned for the first time….I don’t fit into booths at restaurants anymore. So depressing but not at all embarrassing. I’m growing a human people!
We celebrated my Aunt’s retirement and ran some more errands on Saturday and scored this extremely cute vest. 
And then the sickness came on. A little runny nose. Then a cough. Now I have the nastiest cough with a sore throat from all the coughing and its 6:30 and I’m in bed. I’ve tried ever OTC drug I’m allowed to have and nothing is cutting it. I’m hoping for some relief tomorrow after a trip to the doctor. 
This week I was also blessed with another wonderful shower at work. Thank you all for everything! Check out this super cute cake. 
Had a nice visit holding my grandma’s hand and chatting about loving a farmer. Alzheimer’s might occasionally take her memory but nothing will ever take that woman’s soul and heart. For once she didn’t ridicule me on being knocked up and saying “Well are you at least married?” 🙂 This time she simply asked where my husband was. When I told her he was busy working on farm equipment that made her smile. We talked about husbands loving farming and she brought up some fond memories of my grandpa who I miss daily. She spoke as if he were still around and it hurts to know that her moments of time recognition are slipping away. I never correct her. Just let her life in whatever moment she chooses to be in for a bit. 
For a moment it was like I was 15 again and we were sitting in her kitchen on a sunny afternoon. I love the moments when she feels right there with me. The next moment she was back to worrying about the storm and rain outside and nervous. But we had that moment. 
She asked about the baby and how in the world we knew it was a boy. She made it clear she wasn’t real fond of his name. I don’t think it’s one she has ever heard and it definitely threw her off. 
We talked about me bringing Easton to meet her in a month or so and she said she couldn’t wait to meet him. I know we are so lucky that his Great Grandma will get to hold him, love him, and brag about him. Everyone in her unit loves kids and babies so I’m sure he will be a hit. 
These days are all flying by so fast. 
I hope whatever moment you choose to live in you do just that…..live. 
Live and love all those around you. 
We could all probably slow down a little and enjoy life and it’s moments. 

Photo Shoot!

Over Fall Break we went down to Bloomington to visit my sweet little cousin, Codi.  
She is super talented in so many ways, especially behind the camera. 
She took us to an extremely unique old mill in Bloomington for a few photos of the ever growing belly with our sweet pup, Shiloh.  
Take a look!
I had a little fun editing with PicMonkey too….

This shot took FOREVER to try and attempt.
It never quite worked out the way I had envisioned but Codi did the best she could!
Look at those little baby Toms!

My husband loves a good bridge.
Although you can’t totally see the bridge in the background it is there and I must have been sitting high on this log because I’m not taller than him!

He hates this photo but I think it’s adorable. 

I could kiss him all day every day!

I love love love this sign “For this child I have prayed” from a sweet coworker.
So true, so true.
(and something I have to keep remembering as I lose sleep from this uncomfortable bulge and constant urination!)

Thank you Codi for the amazing pictures!
We are so blessed to capture this moment before Easton arrives.  One last family photo shoot before baby boy!