Author: ashleyeileenp

A little push

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Lately I’ve been getting these crazy signs from God and I must tell you about it.

Back on January 1st I decided that adding a little of God’s word and a devotional to my daily routine probably wouldn’t be a bad thing.  Now, I’m far from a Holy roller…..but a little dose of His word in anyone’s life can only do some good.  
I couldn’t decide between two devotionals, Jesus Calling and 5 Love Language Daily Devotional. I haven’t even read the 5 Love Language book.  I’ve purchased it….but haven’t read it.  
I decided I would start reading both and if it proved to be too much I’d set one aside for next year.  
Let me tell you, so far, I get something from both of these devotionals every single day.  Sometimes it’s even a little freaky and I kind of think.  Ok God….I get it. You’re here.  
At the beginning of the year I also decided to join the SSMT and choose two verses a month to memorize.  My first verse in January was Philippians 4:6 (NIV) “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.”  (It’s so cool I can type that without looking it up.)
I chose that verse because I’ve been struggling with my patience and anxiety about a certain step in life that everyone’s expecting us to take.  I’m totally ready, but I’m starting to tire of waiting for this next step.  Every time I found myself getting upset or anxious that it wasn’t part of His plan yet, I read that verse over and over. 
Would you believe me if I told you it was even one of the verses in both of my devotionals?  What are the chances of that? 
Craziness.  
God’s craziness.  
On the 15th it was time to choose a new verse.  Back on the 1st I couldn’t decide between Philippians 4:6 and Jeremiah 29:11.  So, of course, I decided Jeremiah 29:11 would be my second verse to memorize.  This is a more common verse, and I’m excited to actually have it memorized so I can repeat it to myself often.  “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

This morning I opened up my Jesus Calling devotional and what do you know…..there is Jeremiah 29:11 staring me in the face.  And today’s devotional was all about recognizing who is really boss.  Not me….nope.  Him!  I like to be bossy, not going to lie.  Just another reminder of the fact that I need to quit trying to figure out what is happening and just let it happen.  
It’s really crazy how life works sometimes.  
It’s when you’re just at that low point and you need a little push back up. 

Reflections and Resolutions

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Back on January 1st of 2014 I vowed to make these my goals….

A bad habit I’m going to break: leaving my straight iron on
didn’t totally happen but I did purchase one that turns off automatically!  score!

A new skill I’d like to learn: quilting…something very simple
nope…didn’t accomplish because my sewing machine broke.  Currently searching for a replacement

A person I hope to be more like: Pioneer Woman
I did try many new meals (a lot of hers) so we shall call this one a success – However tonight I tried her corned beef and cabbage and it was a major FAIL.  Never again.  I also think my nose is absolutely ruined from the smell.  

A good deed I’m going to do: serve at a women’s shelter or soup kitchen
Did not accomplish….fail

A place I’d like to visit: Idaho
Our next vacation…for sure!  Hopefully summer. 

A book I’d like to read: the Bible
read more this year than the year before!

A letter I’m going to write: to my friend Lauren R
communicated a little but no official letter…..fail

A new food I’d like to try: some Asian cuisine besides chicken fried rice
success

I’m going to do better at: communicating to my loved ones
I think success….some may disagree

So as the year 2015 begins I’d like to tell you about a few things I plan to work on.  Some people call these resolutions….these are just my HOPES.  I feel like the word “hopes” is a bit more realistic.

My 2015 hopes and plans….

1) I’ve joined the SSMT (Siesta Scripture Memory Team) thanks to my friend Jeffer’s invite.  The idea is that I will be memorizing 24 verses of scripture in the next 12 months.  I’m pretty psyched because this will get me reading the bible more, talking to God more, and using His word to guide me and calm me down a bit.  I’ve decided to start with Philippians 4:6 “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.”  (NIV)

I chose this particular verse because I’ve been having anxiety and worry about our next step in life….children.  It’s not happened quite as quickly as I would have liked.  So through reading this and memorizing it I plan to work on not being anxious and presenting my requests to God through praying just a little more often….especially when I get anxious.

You can find out more about the SSMT by clicking here   It’s through Living Proof Ministries and one of my favorite gals to listen to and get inspiration and guidance from….Beth Moore.  

2)  Less junk food and sticking to the NO’s on my grocery list.  I always keep my grocery list as a “note” on my phone.  I’ve added some no’s to that list….such as Pepsi.  I may treat myself to the occasional pop but I’m no longer going to keep it in the house.  No more buying that Kettle corn popcorn Smartpop I love so much.  There is nothing “smart” about that stuff when you can consume an entire bag, by yourself, in one sitting.  No more purchasing chocolate….my students already know it’s my weakness and they provide me with enough in gifts.  I swear I have enough chocolate from their Christmas presents to last me until next Christmas.  I’m not buying it anymore! I’d like to also say no more ice cream….but saying no just seems silly  How about less?

3) Workout 4 days a week.  Lately I’ve been squeezing in 1…maybe 2 days.  Which is such a waste of my gym membership.  I always tell myself I’m too busy, but I know I feel better after I get there…even if it’s for only half an hour.  In that half an hour I can get 2-3 miles wogged and feel better and maybe…just maybe…eventually look better.

4) No credit cards.  I’ve cut up a few and I’m going to focus on paying them off in 2015.  Then, I’ve kept 2 for those just in case emergencies.  BUT I’m going to keep them somewhere NOT near my purse so they aren’t that easy to use.

5) A cleaner mouth.  We discussed this at Christmas Eve.  If we’re going to try and bring a child into this world we have a lot to work on…..one thing being a cleaner mouth.  Sure they don’t understand it when they are first born but my goodness we will have a child destined for the principal’s office if we don’t clean it up!  We never mean harm by the things we say, and usually they are said with laughter….but still.  Time to clean it up.

6)  Less DVR and more books.  Just today I deleted a bunch of Intervention episodes and other crud.  I always have something on the DVR to watch.  Sometimes I just play in the background to have noise.  Most of it is junk.  I’ll never let my Real Housewives go…..but there are many things I can do without.  And with less DVR I can read this huge stack of books I’ve bought and been craving.  Then, I can spend all my Barnes and Nobles gift cards from my totally rad students and read even MORE!

7)  Last but most importantly…..never forget to date my husband.  The love of my life, my lifetime partner, and very best friend.  We were engaged last Valentine’s Day and married in July and then life threw us for a bit of a loop.  I got so wrapped up in planning a wedding and then we had to focus on some major life changes…and I think we’ve just totally forgotten how to date.  I’ve forgotten how to get all sexy and stuff for him and would much rather throw on a hoodie and go to dinner.  Fact is….he needs to date me….and I need to date him.  We’re still young (kind of) and without children we really should take advantage of all that life has to offer….including special date nights.  It doesn’t have to be a fancy restaurant or something mega expensive, but I should still look my best for him because he always does for me.  We have an entire jar of date ideas that my wonderful family and friends gave us at the awesome bridal shower.  We haven’t even picked one.  I think we need to get on that….pronto.    And maybe….just maybe….if we date enough then my hope for a little one will also work!

I love this man and I certainly hope that 2015 only gets better.  I’ll stand by his side no matter what curves that life may bring us.  It’s hard to even imagine that 2015 could top 2014 when I married the man of my dreams….but I’m hoping it will!

p.s. – I’m typing this on my new laptop the hubs got me for Christmas and it is FABULOUS!!!

Post Christmas Blues

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I always get the post Christmas blues. The evening of or day after glum that my favorite time of year is already over. The sadness that I have to wait a whole other year before I can experience the spirit of Christmas. 
This year I listened to my sweet husband sleeping and snoring by 7 pm on Chridtmas evening. I watched some extremely lame Christmas movie with Larry the Cable Guy and as lame as it was I just sat there and cried. 
I determined right then and there that we would create our own Christmas evening tradition beginning next year. A special dinner or meal with family at home, a unique restaurant dinner, or just pizza and games with friends. Something has to happen to avoid the gloom!
Christmas was over. I was depressed. 
Not depressed by the fact that I wasn’t getting anymore gifts or I wouldn’t hear my favorite songs,  but because the overload of family time was coming to a halt. 
I will miss how Christmas keeps us all together. 
I know my family is closer than most. For that I am grateful. 
But there is always a piece of me who hits those post Christmas blues. 
Anyone else?

Something about December

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I love Christmas music. 

I wish I could listen to it all day long. 
Every time I turn on the iTunes Radio Holiday Hits station I hear a new favorite called “Something about December.”
I’ve never heard it until this year (maybe it’s new) but the lyrics speak right to my heart. Like, if I could have written it I totally would have. 
Never even heard of Christina Perri but her voice is amazing. It’s perfect for the song. 
Just read the lyrics. It’s wonderful. 
Lights around the tree
Mama’s whistling
takes me back again
There’s something bout’ December
We’re hanging mistletoe
And hoping that it snows
I close my eyes and then
I can still remember
How to get back, home
Let all your memories
Hold you close
No matter where you are
You’re not alone
Because the ones you love
Are never far
If Christmas is in your heart
Who really needs a gift
When love is meant to give
I can still recall
Carry wth me always 
Every christmas dream 
They live in you and me 

Let all your memories
Hold you close
No matter where you are
You’re not alone
Because the ones you love
Are never far
If Christmas is in your heart

Lights around the tree
Mama’s whistling
takes me back again
There’s something bout’ December

Let all your memories
Hold you close
No matter where you are
You’re not alone
Because the ones you love
Are never far
If Christmas is in your heart




Beautiful 


Xoxo, 

Fortunate Gal


Man down

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Friday about 10:00 am I felt like a huge truck had run me over.  Of course I was in the middle of teaching (or monitoring testing) and there wasn’t much that could be done.  I figured I would get over it.  By 1:15 (one hour before dismissal) I wanted to crawl under my desk and die.  My kids told me they were totally okay with it…minus the dying part.  One kid said “that would be really freaky.”  They were obviously concerned.

So, I left work as soon as I could only to get in a car that wouldn’t start.

That’s right….my car wouldn’t start.  And, it was freezing cold and raining.  Perfect.

A sweet coworker (who helps me out ALL the time) happened to have jumper cables and made my life a million times better by getting my car running.  Then, I proceeded to my dad’s shop so he could check things out and make sure I wouldn’t get stranded at the medcheck.  I had already called my doctors office and they were booked and offered the medcheck as an alternative.  The car magically tested fine and he sent me on my way.

Medcheck was an hour to 2 hours of a wait.  And they proceeded to tell me that if I felt like it was the flu (and they said I looked like it) to put on a mask.

So I looked like this….

His response was something like, “Woah….Ebola?”
I sat there for about 10 minutes and then a genius coworker suggested via our mass group whining text message (initiatied by me of course) that I call the minute clinic down the road and see how long their wait is.  Great idea!  No wait at all!
But…..of course by the time I got there someone had reached the no waiting zone before me.  So….I waited.  

I was freezing, and they required me to put on another mask of course.  I actually asked if they would let me lay down in the spare clinic room (which no one was in) while I waited because sitting up was even painful.  Nope, they don’t allow that.  Just for your future reference.  
Diagnosis – the flu.  At that point I had a 101.6 fever. 
After waiting and slightly losing my mind on the pharmacist I headed home to my loving husband.  
He proceeded to wait on me hand and foot for the rest of the evening (and still is) and got a little freaked when my fever climbed to almost 103 and I felt like I was on fever.  I slept most of the night between taking my fluids and meds and checking my temp.  By midnight we got it below 100 and my aches were starting to go away. 
I have not had the flu in 6 years and I swear I wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy.  It was awful.  6 years ago it lasted about 4-5 days.  This time, much less, thank goodness.  
Today I’m sitting up, showered, and way less achey.  Heads still pounding and this dry cough really stinks…but much better than yesterday. 
My husband was thrilled when he found out I even shaved my legs.  
It sucks though. I’ve missed my oldest nephews first basketball game of the season and I’ve missed seeing my littlest nephew in his actual birthday. At this rate I’m hoping to escape the house for an hour tomorrow to sneak into his birthday party real quick. 
But as for the hubby….I don’t know what I did to deserve such an incredible guy.  He has taken such good care of me.  He even ran to get my nephew’s birthday present and now is at the grocery store with a huge list I sent him with.  The nice part of me organized the list for him by parts of the grocery store so he wouldn’t get overwhelmed.  
I love him. 
I’m so lucky.  

Relay Fundraiser!

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RELAY FUNDRAISER ALERT!  $5 Personalized Christmas gift!

How about the perfect personalized Christmas gift for someone you love? Even better….you’ll be donating to my favorite charity AMERICAN CANCER SOCIETY and RELAY FOR LIFE if you order!

For a simple $5 donation to my Relay for Life page I will design your very own “words of affirmation” print. This is an 8×10 design that you can either print at home or a local store (Staples, Kinko’s, Walgreens, etc.) for as low as $3. Add a super cute frame and you’ve got an awesome Christmas/Birthday gift for super cheap with the peace of mind that you’ve done a little part in the effort to stop cancer.

Here are the details:
This design is for a JPG image that you receive. Frame is not included.
PERSONALIZATION:
Please include ALL of the following in your email or message order
1. Name of person describing
2. Description words: 10-18 work best
3. One Background Color (I can also do textures like paper, wood, burlap, etc.)
4. 1-4 Text Colors
5. If you would like an image added
6. The EMAIL where you would like the proof sent
DETAILS:
I’m guessing turn around time will be 3-5 days. You will receive the proof of your design through email. There is no shipping cost because it is a digital product You can print at places such as Office Depot, Staples, Walmart, Kinkos, etc. as a poster and frame or mount on foam board. You can print on matte paper, card stock or regular paper and then mount on foam board or you can frame it.
DONATION to RELAY FOR LIFE:
You will go to my Relay page (see below) to donate the $5 or you can mail me a check made out to American Cancer Society.

http://main.acsevents.org/goto/ashleyschenck

I’ve included 2 samples as well. Mark one more thing off your Christmas list! You can Private Message me on Facebook or contact me at ashleyeileenp@gmail.com

Oh Holy Cry

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So ya know I’ve been crying a lot, right? 
Well every time I hear “Oh Holy Night” I shed some tears. Sometimes it’s those blubbering idiot tears and sometimes it’s just one little happy tear lingering down the cheek. 
(Side note – Silent Night makes me shed a tear too. And just recently I’ve been listening to my iTunes Radio. I heard a Kelly Clarkson version with Trisha and Reba. Wow. I may be biased as a country music fan. But woah. Chilling good.)
I have so many memories of that song, but mainly the joy in my mom’s face when I would play it on the piano. And particularly the joy on my grandma and grandpas face when I surprised them by playing it at their church Christmas Eve service so many years ago. 
And just the other day as I shed a tear while listening to Mariah hit all those ridiculous notes I turned from complete sadness to maniacal laughter. 
Because I remembered another time at my grandparents church that my hair literally caught on fire. 
I had a perm and loads of hairspray. As we passed around the candles at Christmas Eve service the candle got a little too close and POOF it was up in flames. Nothing terrible. But slightly burning. Then my super Aunt Shelley saved the day by hitting my head and patting those flames gone. 

Will never ever ever forget that Christmas Eve service in that sweet little country church. I miss going there and having our cousins sleepover on Christmas Eve on the floor of my grandparents living room. Looking back I’m not sure I fully understood how lucky I was to have so many cousins, loving grandparents who took in ALL their kids and grandkids for Christmas Eve service, and the memories to live forever. 

So the song brings about tears. Tears of pretty awesome memories and a reminder that life changes so quickly. What I wouldn’t give to be a kid again and opening my stocking with all my cousins Christmas cousin.

Those were the days. 
P.S. Remember to always hug and kiss those you love. I’ve seen the heartbreak of a very good friend and sweet kids to the loss of a loved one.  I watched a horrible car accident last night. All those things in one week. 
People, life is short. Live it. 

Hot Mess Express

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I tell my husband all the time I feel like a hot mess. 

I was lying before when I said it and now I’m for real. 
I am an emotional wreck lately. I heard a Christmas song on Thanksgiving day as I was prepping in the kitchen and I broke down sobbing. I saw a mother/daughter shopping in DressBarn today and I ran out the door sobbing like an idiot….luckily without anything in hand.  I write a card to a friend and can’t get through it without tears. I read something on Facebook and I’m instantly a mess. I see a photo of my mom and I just want to curl up in a ball and never get up. I see Ellen giving away thousands of dollars to some homeless woman and I sob on the couch and can’t get up for an hour. 
Like, seriously, what is this? 
I don’t know if it’s the “time of year” and that I’m missing my mom. It could be the holidays and how rough and sad they are. It could be that I’m a woman and it’s just part of who I am. It could be that I’ve adjusted or stopped taking some medicine and I’m starting to feel again. It could be that a dear friend is going through the same hell I went through 13 years ago and my heart is literally breaking for her and her kids. 
Or, maybe, it’s al those things piled together. 

And maybe, it’s okay to be emotional and shed some tears. 
I use to always take pride in showing no emotion. 
Now I’m ready to just face this head on. For now.
In saying that for now I’m totally cool with all of you knowing that I may break down in fetal position and sob like a child occasionally. Or, I may tear up at the silliest things. 
Just bear with me. Please please please don’t hug me. That will only make my sons turn into the hyperventilating hiccup sobs and snot will then likely be on your shoulder. 
Just call me Hot Mess Express. 
Love me or hate me, but if you do hate me please don’t tell me because then I’ll start crying again. 
Heck, who am I kidding….even nice things make me cry. 
Anyone else had days/weeks/months like this? 

Love to all, 
Ash 
Miss you Momma
12-1-2001

Different.

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Over 90 days ago we became two different people. 

A good different. A better different.  
Just a month before this major decision I walked down the aisle to say “I Do” and told him I wasn’t ever going to give up. Til death do us part. 

This major decision has changed us in many ways but deep down we are the same. In fact, I believe the two of us are better because of it and quite possibly more true of ourselves than we were before. 
My husband took it upon himself to seek some help. He left his pride behind and announced to the world that he wasn’t bigger than the alcohol. He was powerless to it. His family and himself were way more important and he needed some guidance to get back on track and become the man he wanted to be. For himself. For me. For us. For our future family. 
Our close family and friends have supported us in this journey completely. We wouldn’t have made it through without them. 
I was hurt, scared, and totally shocked when it all came about. I had no idea how out of control things really were. I freaked a bit. 
My purpose in this post isn’t to dwell on the past. It’s the past. 
My purpose is to tell you how incredibly proud I am of the man I am lucky to call my husband. 
He set everything aside for 5 days to really focus on himself and start fresh. Start new. 

Then he devoted 3 nights a week to a group of wonderful men who needed the same support. There were nights he came overloaded with strength and pride and there were nights that were a bit more rough. There were ups. There were downs. 
We said this together. A lot. 

I read books. I went to support groups. I heard some crazy flipping stories. Here is what I’ve learned: 
1. It’s a disease….and if he had been diagnosed with cancer I would have never walked away….so I’m not walking away from this. 
2. Just when you feel like life is the worst it can possibly be God tends to slap you in the face and say, “Girl, you have no idea…..how lucky you are.”
3. When we got married we weren’t promising to each other that we would never disappoint one another, because at some point both of us will do that very thing.  What is important is that we never leave.  We don’t escape.  We don’t leave one another….just because we are disappointed.  That is the meaning of fidelity.  
I’ve learned it is far from over.   I’m willing to face each and every day with my husband. I know there are days he will feel the urge to drink. There will be days he may think he just can’t take it anymore.  
I can only hope that every day he remembers how totally loved he is….how incredible of a man he is….how much he means to me and so many others.

I do ask this of all of you – for goodness sake don’t not invite us to a party or a gathering.  We are fully capable of having a good time without the buzz.  Promise you that. 

Yours truly,

1st comes loves, then comes marriage….

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Then comes baby in a any carriage! 

But not yet. 
Everyone expects you to get hitched and start a family. Trust me, I would love to tell you all we are expecting….but I just can’t. Would have been awesome to make a honeymoon baby, but it wasn’t meant for us. 
So for now I guess I’ll  consume myself  with informational readings about conception and what to do and what not to do. And keep the hubby happy with all the practice. He’s convinced himself to invent a false positive ovulation test because he’s rotten. And he’s a guy.