Memorial Day Memories

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One of my favorite weekends of the year is Memorial Day. My family has so many traditions we’ve had for years. I love traditions. I can’t wait to have our own little family to continue those traditions.

MD weekend in Indy means lots to do. Indy 500.

Saturday was the Indy 500 parade. Not everyone was able to go this year. Some years we have a big crew. Some years we don’t. The heat was a factor this year. It was a scorcher. But, we made the best of it. We found a spot in the shade. Did out annual photo of the littles near the fountain. Then sat and patiently waited for the start. Things I love about the parade:
Cops on motorcycles
Big balloons
Dancing bands
Celebrities
Things I don’t love:
The woman behind us who commentated the entire thing and meet shut her mouth.

I could have done without that.

After parade means finding an air conditioned restaurant. Steak n Shake hit the spot.

Sunday is our annual race day party at a friends house. Good food. Good friends. And this year required water for the kiddos. Little nephews first trip down a water slide. The after party under the shade tree with wine and more good food. I swear I put on at least 5 pounds this weekend.

Monday is a tradition to meet my pops and family at the local cemetery for a special service honoring those who served. We gathered around my moms plot after and shared a few memories with the little ones Then my guy and I started a tradition of going to the cemetery where his grandpa is and
seeing their amazing display of flags to honor and remember all those. Very remarkable.

In between all those events was as much grilling out, grubbing, and swimming at my guys parents pool as we could possibly do. It was so good to spend time with his brother who is home from Idaho.

Loads of quality family time made for a perfect weekend.

Photos below, in no particular order.

Crazy Good Weekend.

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This weekend was nuts.  And nonstop.  Friday was my only rest day, and that’s exactly what I did.  I rested to get ready for the weekend.

Friday night Shiloh and I took a drive for some dinner.  Unfortunately my guy and I had to miss out on a double date with our sweet neighbors.  The guy was still in the field side dressing corn.  I didn’t want to be a third wheel on their date.  Shiloh enjoys rides so we went for one just to take a cruise. 

I love when he sends me these pics.

The next morning I had to be at a brunch and workshop for our local county fair’s queen pageant.  It was nice to meet new girls who would be first timers in our pageant.  They always make me feel young again.  The best part about my queenie duties is hanging out with some of my good friends.  We’re great at getting a lot of stuff done but still having time to chat, which is what we do best.

After that I got to spend time with my best friend’s baby Willow.  She’s super precious and is getting into everything.  Such a fun age.  Willow has the best little two teefers smile going on. 

Isn’t she the cutest?

Sadly I couldn’t stay long and had to head to my next stop.  When I left I had to look at this sad face.  It made me laugh, but also made me feel terrible.  Now I know how my friend Meg feels when she has to leave her for work.  That’s got to be terrible.

All caged up. 

After spending some much needed time with Willow and Meg I went to a local church to watch my little (but not really) cousin play in her last ever piano recital.  She’s a senior.  I’m struggling with it.  I teared up when she played.  Her first time in a piano recital was a duet, with me.  Those were the days.  I’m always so proud of her.  She’s beautiful and has such a kind soul.  Her beauty is not just on the outside it’s all throughout her.  She’s so cool.  Sometimes I wish I was 18 again and could be as cool as her.  She played a song by The Fray and did amazingly.  I’m so glad that many years ago she took up piano.  I love hearing the piano played.  I could sit in Von Maur all the time and listen to the pianist tickle the ivories.  It reminds me of being a child.  It reminds me of hearing my mom practice on Sunday mornings before church.  It reminds me of weekly lessons with my favorite musical teacher.  It brings back so much. 

Then I came home quickly to change and get ready for the Brad Paisley concert. 

Boots on.  Ready to go. 

I wasn’t sure if I wanted to go or not because it was so blazing hot and I knew I had to do a 5K the next day, but Meg decided to get a ticket and we made it a girls night.  We had a blast.  We mainly people watched and giggled at all the sites.  We realized we were old because making it up that hill in the lawn required some deep breaths and pains in the thigh region.  We also realized that the annoying drunk chics were exactly who we were two years ago.  We were really that annoying?  Probably.  Did we wear daisy dukes showing half of our butt checks?  Definitely not.  People would have been puking.  This time it only took two drinks for us to get a slight buzz, especially Meg because she’s a momma now and rarely has the time to have a cocktail.  We discussed life, my momma, our future’s, our dreams, and most importantly all the freaks we saw around us.  It felt so good to have a night out with Meg.  I miss those days.  It’s all part of the growing up thing. 

People watching….

Good friends = good times

I’d still like to protest this whole grown up deal. 

Whatever. 

On to a busy week now.  Family in town.  Memorial Day weekend festivities.  Can’t wait to share with you some of our family traditions for Memorial Day weekend. 

Oh, and the best part is.  3.  Days.  Left.  and it’s NO WORK FOR TWO MONTHS for this chica.  Jealous? 

I would be.

Cupcake Dreams.

/ ashleyeileenp / 1 Comment

There are two cupcake stores in this town that are vying for my affection.  The Flying Cupcake.  Gigi’s. 

You might not be able to believe this but I’ve actually never been to Gigi’s.  I’ve heard nothing but wonderful things about it and I’ve seen pictures.  I’ve just never been there myself. 

Today I was on my way home from the mall and I saw an electronic billboard that said Turn left at the next light for The Flying Cupcake. 

(insert squealing tires here)

Seriously.  I’m a sucker for cupcakes.  They’re probably my favorite food group ever.  And they are a food group. 

I like to make my own and even have all the basics for decorating.  But, whenever I can buy a good cupcake I’m totally in.  So, I stopped in and found the cutest little cupcake shop ever. 

One cupcake was almost $4.00. 

I’m in the wrong frickin business.

I started simple with a vanilla on vanilla.  Next time I plan to branch out and get the cookies and cream.  There were just way too many choices. 

Dream for my Future: Get married.  Have babies.  Quit my job.  Open a cupcake shop.  Work out daily so I can eat the cupcakes I make.  Live happiliy ever after. 
I’m in the wrong damn business, that’s for sure. 

I’m about to bite into this bad boy.  And as you can see from the picture’s it’s your basic vanilla on vanilla.  I like to start simple.  Then I will work my way up to the equisite ones.

My Mom and My Guy

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Okay…..last two questions answered. 

Seriously though.  This was the most therapeutic thing I have done since losing my mom.  Even better than the couple of psychiatrists I saw.  Writing heals. 

What are three moments recently you think your Mom was with you?

For sure she was with me at the mini.  I had some very emotional moments during the mini.  Some moments I questioned life entirely.  Her voice just popped in my head and she reminded me I was strong.  I could persevere.  I had what it took to finish this and prove myself wrong. 

My mom was also with me just this week when I was planting flowers.  It was such a peaceful, beautiful evening out in the country.  My guy was next to me but we were in silence for much of the time in the dirt.  Every time I plant flowers I feel her with me.  Maybe it’s just because I know she loved doing the same thing.  Sometimes I feel like I’m not doing it right, or not being gentle enough or patient enough.  That’s probably her talking too.  J

When I visit the cemetery is when I feel the closest to her.  For her birthday I go and eat a cupcake at her stone.  On Mother’s Day I touch up her flowers and freshen things up a bit.  At Christmas I like it when the snow is falling and I usually tell her what I would have bought her this year if she were alive.  I always feel her there.  It’s the breeze of a small wind.  It’s a butterfly in the air.  Sometimes it’s the pictures I take and the orb I see in the finished image.

At home it’s the lights flickering.  And in this old house it happens often.  It makes me never want to move away from here.  I know deep down she will be with me wherever I go, but I really like how often the lights flicker here. 

 What qualities would your Mom love about your guy?

My mom would love that Mike makes me smile, constantly.  She loved to make all of her children happy and wanted all of us to find a mate who could do the same.  She would adore his sense of humor and his infectious laugh.  I think she would have fallen in love with him immediately and taken him in as one of her own right from the start. 

I think she would also love how much he is like my father.  He likes to fix things like my dad.  He doesn’t argue or get loud if he’s upset.  He generally just walks away to calm down, much like I do.  That works out well for the both of us.  When we are ready to talk things out, we do.  My dad was never very confrontational….at least from what I can remember in my childhood.  I admire that.  I think it takes a real man (and woman) to know when something is worth fighting about and to just know when to walk away.  It doesn’t mean we don’t communicate…I think we just know that it’s best to wait until we have cooled off. 

My mom would love how romantic and sentimental he can be.  She would love that he leaves me random loves notes in my desk drawer at work or the coffee cup cabinet so I’m reminded of his love at the strangest of times.  She would love that he does those little things to, again, see me smile.  She would also love that he values marriage and family just as she taught us to do.  I think it’s very important to find your soul mate and that it be one who values the same things in life.  Divorce has never been an option for me.  Divorce is the reason I didn’t stay in the last relationship I was in.  I knew it would lead to that and there was no point in wasting either of ours time.  I’m not giving up on my guy now because I know we are in it for life.  We will grow old and rock in our chairs together on the porch.  We will take an RV trip across the country and hopefully not kill one another.  We will do all the things my mom and dad never got a chance to do in old age.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy my dad can do that now with someone new….but for myself I envision it being with M and no one else.  Hopefully God has the same plans for me. 

My mom would love that my guy treats me like an absolute princess….or queen.  He spoils me in so many ways.  He caters to my every need.  He wants the best for me.  He wants me to be happy, always.  He just loves me the right way. 

I will never get over the fact that the most wonderful woman I ever knew will never get to meet the most wonderful man I’ve ever known.  It haunts me daily.  There’s so much I wish the two of them could talk about.  I think M would “get me” even more if he had met her. 

But for now I hope to share more stories about my mom with my guy.  I hope to share more of her recipes to fill his belly.  I hope to share her laughter in smile in all that I do.  I hope that even though he will never meet the most wonderful woman I’ve ever known that he actually will in some way…..through me. 
Our last family photo together

Corn Gazing.

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One of my favorite parts of spring and summer is watching the corn grow.

Little sprouts.
Leafy buds.
Knee high before the 4th of July this year.
Husky stalks.
Beautiful waves of earthy green leaves rustling in the wind.
Natures privacy fence.

Corn makes me feel at home. It’s a comfort thing. I’ve known it all my life. As a child it was exciting to watch it grow and then more excitement when it came down so we could see my cousins house.

As an adult I appreciate it’s beauty. Even more I appreciate my guys hard work and dedication for what he loves to get it put in the ground. I appreciate my uncles for the hard work they do up north. I appreciate the farmers who take care of our family’s land down here.

So much appreciation. So much I had to stop and take it all in today.

The beauty of mother nature and the product of the love of my life’s hard work. Just a little corn gazing.

Fitness Friends

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I’ve been working out at BSeas for over a year now.  I never imagined when I walked in those doors that I would gain an entire group of fitness buddies.

It all started with my friend, Ashley, encouraging me to give it a try when I had mentioned that I needed to do “something” to get rid of this gut.  Ashley was actually just working out there at the time.  Now she is a trainer there….which is so incredible for her.  She deserves to be doing exactly what she wants and, even better, she’s amazing at what she does. 

When I first started I told Toby, the other trainer/owner, that my main goal was to get rid of this gut/pooch thing before I actually had kids.  I couldn’t get over the fact that I hadn’t even had children but I had all the curves that one would think I had.  Disgusting.  Those really haven’t vanished completely yet, but I’m still working on it.  The inches have dwindled a bit.  I think I’m just going to have to face the fact that I’ve got curves.  I’m pear shaped.  It’s who I am.  I blame my ancestors for these luscious botty genes. 

Toby and Ash have taught me so much about myself and what I’m truly capable of.  They’ve also taught me things regarding nutrition that I was clueless about.  I count calories and watch what I eat.  I’m not a perfect dieter by any means, but I now know that if I want to go out and eat a cupcake or pizza….I better have some sort of cardio or workout planned for that day or the morning after.  There has to be some balance and hard work for every reward.  When I do well at this I can actually lose a pound or so in a week.  I’m not perfect at it yet, either, but I feel better.

That’s the key words here….I FEEL BETTER.  Hell, I haven’t lost much weight since starting out at BSeas. Maybe 10 or so pounds.  But, I FEEL BETTER.  Seriously, I did 13.1 miles recently.  I jogged most of a 5K a few weeks before that.  I actually enjoy jogging on the treadmill for my cardio exercises.  I love getting that elliptical above 80 and just sweating.  I haven’t been sick (besides an occasional hangover) since forever!  I am so much more active.  I actually chose to go jog a mile two nights ago rather than lay on the couch and start watching evening TV.  I would have neverdone that over a year ago. 

You would never know it by the amount of whining I do at the gym.  It feels good to whine while working out.  Plus, I can’t NOT talk while I’m in there.  What better way to chat with my fitness buddies than to whine about what we have to do?  And, I want Toby and Ash to know I totally appreciate what they’re doing so I whine so that they know it’s working.  See, it’s really beneficial for everyone. 

Just a few of us…..after the FDIC 5K
My fitness buddies are the best group of gals and guys ever.  They are exceptionally encouraging.  Remember the sweet notes I got before the mini?  I walk in and everyone is smiling and saying hello.  It’s not just fitness we talk about.  I know so many of them on even a personal level now and I think that’s important for us all to grow together and lose together.  I was so excited to hear my fitness buddie’s husband is NOT getting deployed after all.  It was fun to hear my other buddie’s son was shocked his momma could run a mile faster than he could now.  I can’t wait to hear about the arrival of a new fitness buddie’s baby in the next week.  We’ve been teasing her she might have it in the gym.  Thank goodness she hasn’t.  That woman amazes me in her ability to continue working out while 9 months pregnant.  Incredible.  My trainer/friend and I get to chat and catch up weekly which we never did before.  Her family is awesome too and I love seeing them in the gym.  There’s several couples who work out together.  They have to be quite the inspiration to their kiddos and families. 

It’s a wonderful group of people to be surrounded with at least twice a week for an hour.  I wish I could find more time and money to spend with all of them.  I’m so excited for our 5K event and family picnic next weekend.  It’s sure to be an afternoon full of laughs…..and probably some trash talk.  It’s just how we roll. 

Mother’s Day Q & A Part #2

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More “Mother’s Day” questions and answers
Isn’t she lovely?
If you could write your mom a letter and read it to her – what would your letter say?

Dear Mom,

There is not a day that goes by that I don’t wish you were here on Earth.  You are missed in more ways than I could ever explain in this tiny little letter.  There have been so many events in my life since you passed that I have longed to hear your advice, get your hug of encouragement, or hold your hand when I’m scared.  Tough days are the days that I sit and worry about the things I face in the future which I will need you even more.  Those days (someday) which I have to plan a wedding and figure out who is going to light the “mother’s” candle.  The days when I’m pregnant and miserable and worrying constantly about how to be a mom.  The days I have a newborn and need your mother’s advice.  The days my daughter or son is an absolute heathen and I need their grandma to come and rescue me.  The days I have to explain to my children why they only have one grandma.  But, I have your sisters, my sister, and your best of friends to help guide me.  I can’t thank you enough for leaving these women in my life.  I have no idea where I would be without them.  I miss you dearly and can’t wait to see the next “sign” you are with me.  I especially enjoy the butterflies, lights flickering, or doors randomly opening.  I know that’s you and I can’t thank you enough for reminding me you are always with me.   Take care of Grandpa, Uncle W, Pam, Nicole, Grandma and Grandpa P, and all the other angels you are laughing above with. 

Love,

Ash

What are some things your mom taught you that you will take with you when you come become a mother?

I can only hope to be half the mother my mother was.  She was so much fun.  I think some people don’t believe me when I say my mom was my best friend, even at 17.  Most mother’s and teenage daughter’s don’t get along very well, but we did.  We had our moments, of course, but I really enjoyed hanging out with her and taking our Saturday morning shopping trips. 

I want to include my kids in everything I do.  My mother always included us in the kitchen, outside in the yard, and in all the things she loved to do.  She made it very clear that family was important and I will do the same for my own children.  We spent every holiday and birthday with our large extended family and I’m fortunate to have some incredible cousins and aunts and uncles.  We went to church every Sunday and watched mom play the organ.  My mom instilled in me a love for music.  I took piano lessons for many years from a friend.  It was best that my mom wasn’t my piano teacher, at least that’s what she always said.  I will have my children in musical lessons as well if they wish.  I’m going to push heavy on this one and hope they get how important it is to me.  I want my kids in 4-H too.  I want to be the club leader, PTO mom, room mom, and coach for everything that I can for my children.  My mom always made sure we knew we could count on her.  Even in my teen years she stressed that if we were ever at a party where we were uncomfortable or had been pressured to drink, we could still call her and she would come pick us up….no questions asked….until the next day.  She was always just a phone call away.  Boy, I miss that.  I want to be everything my mom was.  I’m not sure it’s even possible to be more than that. 

What are you favorite kids names?

My guy and I have actually discussed this.  I actually can’t stand it when people keep the name a secret but I also wonder if I should share it with the world. 

Oh, what the heck…. 

For a boy we like Austin Wayne and Easton Wayne.  He likes Austin.  I like Easton.  I like Easton because our first concert together was Easton Corbin.  I also like Austin.  The middle name…Wayne…has sentimental value and is also a family name.

For a girl it’s not so much in stone.  I want to use Lynn (my mom’s middle name) in some way.  Emmalynn…. Adalynn…..  Not sure what else works.  We love the middle name Grace. 

The boy says we won’t have girls.  He says he can’t.  Not sure how he knows that….but whatever. 

And later this week I shall answer the last couple of questions.  One is about my mom and it has to do with my guy.  One of the things that makes me the saddest is that they never met.  The other is moments I know she is with me.  Do y’all believe in signs?  I do…

Stay tuned….

My Mother Taught Me.

/ ashleyeileenp / 4 Comments

My beautiful blogging friend, Heidi, asked me several questions about my momma.  She’s so kind, sweet, and refreshing……. always. 

Can I adopt you?

Heidi, you’re younger than me.  No way.  That would be super creepy.  Oh, and you are super awesome at parenting you just have a strong-willed child who promises to test and teach you something new every day. 

What qualities did you get from your mom?

This is a tough one.  I feel like you should ask my sister or my aunts or my Dad to get the best answer.  I’ll give it a shot though.

My mother taught me to be affectionate.  I’ve lost a lot of that since her death because I relate hugs to that 6 hour wait of standing by her casket getting hugs from everyone.  The hugs and words were sweet and I loved everyone dearly for visiting my family and I in a time of shock, pain, and absolute devastation.  Unfortunately I still have reminders when I get a hug of all those hugs I received that afternoon and evening at the funeral home.  I am working on being more affectionate.  I know I will need that to be a wonderful mother some day. 

My mother taught me to be ambitious and motivated.  She was such an involved parent and although I’m not a parent yet, I try to be involved in anything I can.  Sometimes, I feel a bit overwhelmed.  I get a lot of satisfaction from doing the things she use to do so I try and be involved in the same things she was.  It kind of feels like she is there with me. 

My mother taught me to be caring, cheerful and considerate.  I love sending cards to friends just because.  I enjoy buying things or making cookies for friends and coworkers just to tell them I care.  I want everyone I am around to know I enjoy spending time with them.  I don’t ever want them to think they aren’t a wonderful part of my day.  Now, I can’t help but tell you that there are some people that just isn’t true about, but I do my best to be civil.  Momma use to tell me to “Kill em with kindness.”

My mother taught me to persevere and endure.  Who knew I was going to have to use these things for many years after we lost her.  I certainly forgot those qualities right after her death.  I went through some pretty crappy times.  I hit a low.  Then I hit something even lower.  Now, I’m back on the up and up and life is great again.  Thank goodness she taught me to persevere and endure. 

My mother taught me to be generous.  As I said previously, I enjoy giving.  I see homeless people and I want to throw them my wallet.  I see an elderly person walking into the grocery and I want to open the door for them, help them shop, then load their groceries in the car.  I just can’t help myself.  I enjoy giving to others in any way I can. 

My mother taught me to be grateful.  I struggle with this occasionally.  Mainly I find myself wallowing in self pity.  The whole woah is me, my mother is gone and I’m all alone bit.  In all reality, I should be very grateful that I had 17 wonderful years with her.  Some people have mothers for way longer, but they are really crappy mom’s.  At least I had an incredible one, even if it was only for 17 years. 

My mother taught me to be hardworking.  I can remember her always being awake before me every morning and still awake when I went to bed.  I swear I never saw that woman sleep.  She was incredibly hardworking.  She helped my dad keep the family business in line and kept all of us kiddos in check….which was not an easy job. 
My mother taught me how to smile at life.  Lots of people say I have her smile.  I love hearing that.

My mother taught me how to shop.
My mother taught me how to cook….amazing foods.

My mother taught me how to worry. 
My mother taught me to love….unconditionally and whole heartedly. 
Answering this took a lot out of me.  Not gonna lie. 
More answers to come for the rest of my friend’s questions…..

If you could write your mom a letter and read it to her – what would your letter say?

What are some things your mom taught you that you will take with you when you come become a mother?

What are you favorite kids names?

 What are three moments recently you think your Mom was with you?

 What qualities would your Mom love about Mike?

Coon Catching

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Remember how we had that mice problem back in the wintertime?

Well, it’s spring time which means it’s the coons turn tocome and stay at our house.  Morespecifically, under our house.

Over a week ago I was home alone (of course because thatseems to be the only time animals invade) when I heard what I thought was abird.  The “bird” noise became louder andlouder and finally I hit mute on the TV remote and knew instantly it was not abird, but a raccoon and the noise wasn’t outside but instead coming from thevent next to the couch.  I recall being akid and playing with a friend’s pet coon and babysitting it occasionally.  So I knew this wasn’t no freakin bird, it wasa damn coon. 

And of course my guy is gone.  Not going to be home soon.  I text the landlord/neighbor and tell her wehave coons under the house.  There wasn’tmuch we could do about it at 10 p.m.

It gets better.  Iswear there wasn’t just one coon.  Therewere at least two.  And I’m pretty surethey were getting it on, if you know what I mean.  I was not about to get any sleep with twocoons getting rowdy under the house.

Lucky for me, coons are quick and about an hour later theywere done and apparently on their merry little way.

Until yesterday morning when I heard more coon noises assoon as I woke up.  This time they weren’tunder the living room but under the bathroom. It seemed like they were right under the sink.  Just chatting away.  Telling me good morning.  My reply back was not so sweet to them.  I woke up my guy, who was beyond thrilled,just so he would know I wasn’t a complete nut job.  We really did have a coon issue. 

THEN this morning it all came to a close.  Hopefully. When I got to the bathroom this morning at 5:30 a.m. they were REALLYloud and moving around.  I couldn’t quitefigure out why but I already bet there were babies in there.  I’m sure the gestational period of a coon isn’ttwo weeks, but clearly we have mating going on with coons somewhere round thesenecks of the woods.  I don’t care whatcoon hunters say.  It’s mating seasonhere peeps. 

So I look out the window at the live trap (that’s what theboy calls it) and see there is a big fat momma coon in it.  I guess I didn’t “confirm” it was a momma Ijust assume.  She looks pissed.   I openthe window and scream GOTCHA!  I may havethrown another word in there but I’ll keep it PG.  I woke my guy up again because heloves being up before he has to and excitedly told him we caught a coon! Hemumbled…. “Really?  Great….”  Clearly he wasn’t as excited as I was aboutthis whole fiasco. 
Momma Coon
I felt kinda bad that this momma coon was going to die atsome point today.  I figured M would killthe thing.  Kinda sad.  Kinda felt bad. 

UNTIL…..I walked out my door to leave.  I stopped to admire the hard work my guy and Ihad put in to the flower beds last night. We planted annuals for at least 2 or 3 hours.  That freakin coon or one of his pals dug upat least a quarter of the flowers we planted. Every cuss word you can imagine came flying out of my mouth.  I stormed back in the house.  Screamed to M, “That blankety blank coon dugup ALL the flowers we planted last night.” (I tend to exaggerate sometimes. Okay, maybe more than sometimes. Especially when mad.)  Still he mumbled, “Really?  Ugh…”  Iasked, “Is it Friday the 13th or something?  Am I missing something here?”  To which he replied, “No babe.  Have a good day.  Love you.” 

I won’t tell you what happens to the coon because I have afriend who I saw at the gym today and was a tad upset that we caught acoon.  She loves all animals, even theones who destroy homes and flowers.  Idid promise her we wouldn’t eat it.  I’mnot saying someone else won’t.  But, Ipromised her that I wouldn’t!
For now, Shiloh continues to bark and guard the coon as ifit stands a chance of getting out.

Shiloh standing guard

Shiloh barking at the coon telling it to shut up and stop hissing.

My dad recommends Blue Fly Bait (???) and grape soda.  Can’t leave it out for Shiloh to get into buthanging it in a tree.  Anyone ever triedthat? 

All I know is these coons have got to go.  I have flowers that need to grow and I’dprefer not to hear them “having relations” under my house. 

That holiday coming up.

/ ashleyeileenp / 1 Comment

As I planted flowers this evening I couldn’t help but think about my mom. And then the fact that Mother’s Day is Sunday.

Crap. Mother’s Day.

The day I use to spend with my wonderful mom and her momma (Grandma).

Then after she died it was the day that I drank all my miseries away at a local watering hole. Crying. Tellin everyone my sob story and getting the most pathetic hugs from other people who were drinking at a bar on Mother’s Day. I don’t judge but looking back I have to wonder bout them.

Now I try and celebrate though it’s not always easy. My guy has a wonderful ma so we plan to spend part of the day with her. She’s pretty amazing and I think she loves me.

I spent last Sunday with my mommas mom. She’s sassy and I love her. She will be bombarded with love from her umpteen grandchildren so I figured we should spend the day with M’s mom we have to share our love you know.

I want to blog that day but I will have nothing but emotions and patheticness running through my veins. So, I was hoping you could help me out.

Maybe you could message or comment me some questions. (Private message/email if you want to keep it anonymous.). Anything related to this holiday comin up. My momma. Me wanting to be a momma. Aunts and friends that are like mommas.

Anything goes. I think I can take it.